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Band 3.5

Today more and more people want things instantly (eg:goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or egative development?

#people #eg #goods #service #news #egative #development
Recent readers indicate that immediate
spplication
Correct your spelling
application
 is a trend in society
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays.
This
 writer completely believes that
this
 change cause a positive effect on the community with several benefits which are required in
busy
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a busy
show examples
 lifestyle. The following essay will
advocae
Correct your spelling
advocate
this
 standpoint.
Firstly
, it is vital to understand that quick services
such
 as medical care and security are ensured in residential
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
 to serve the demands of
community
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the community
show examples
.
This
 development is a way
for enhancing
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to enhance
show examples
 the quality of living.
For instance
, a
high standard
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high-standard
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domitory
Correct your spelling
dormitory
 area in Ho Chi Minh City, Van Phuc has many instant amenities which bring
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best experience for inhabitants.
In addition
, more and more people tend to the most convenient objects to fit
with
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their daily
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
. Moving onto the disadvantageous side of
this
 innovation, it leads to sedentary lifestyles in modern ages. It is
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
 issue that the new generation has to deal with. Evidently, fast food and prepared
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 are more
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 in recent years
due to
 people's laziness and busy lives.
Consequently
, immediate supplication encourages an inactive spirit of society. Taking everything into account, it cannot be denied that
he
Correct pronoun usage
his
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 independence on instant things
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to sedentariness.
However
,
this
 development provides many advantages which
is
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are
show examples
 necessary in modern life.
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next. Using linking phrases can help improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
For better task achievement, make sure that each point is fully developed with relevant examples and explanations. This will make your argument stronger and clearer.
general
Work on eliminating minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps outline the argument and summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
The writer addresses both the positive and negative aspects of the trend of wanting things instantly, demonstrating a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Examples such as the high standard dormitory area in Ho Chi Minh City help illustrate the points being made and add to the essay’s relevance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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