In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetable. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
modern era, some
urbans
Correct your spelling
urban
repurpose parks
as well as
open spaces into gardens which allow the local residents to grow
fruit
Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
show examples
or
vegetable
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vegetables
show examples
.
This
writer believes that the advantages of the connection of
people
during
community
activities and
encourage
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encouraging
show examples
consuming
Verb problem
apply
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healthy outweigh the
drawback
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drawbacks
show examples
of
fertilizers
and
toxic
Replace the word
toxins
show examples
during planting fruit to the environment. The most
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
factor of changing parks and public spaces into gardens is that it can help to improve the connection between
people
through
community
events.
In other words
, the public garden is the ideal place to
holding
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
community
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
which bring
people
together through these activities.
Furthermore
, it can
also
be a place where
people
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
their
meal
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meals
show examples
and
chatting
Wrong verb form
chat
show examples
with each other after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community
time.
For instance
, many cities in Japan have started
this
project and successfully
bridge
Wrong verb form
bridged
show examples
the gap between their
people
. The advantage of
encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
show examples
people
to
consuming
Change the verb form
consume
show examples
healthy food must
also
be considered. It can be
said
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that said that
while
people
are gardening, they will understand the positive effect of fruits and vegetables
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
body
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bodies
show examples
.
Thus
, these
people
will tell their relatives and families about healthy food and encourage them to
consuming
Change the verb form
consume
show examples
healthy.
For example
,
according to
the surveys in Japan,
people
are likely to
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
show examples
healthy
Change the word
healthily
show examples
when they have their family
member
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members
show examples
attend to these activities.
However
, some
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
express apprehension about the
fertilizers
contained in the process of planting. They argue that the
fertilizers
could have an adverse effect on the environment,
as a result
, the local soil and water would be polluted and may lead to many detrimental influences.
While
this
viewpoint is valid, citizens are
also
conscious of using organic compounds to help their plants.
Hence
, toxic contents are not a considerable problem thanks to the harmless development of plant improvers. In conclusion, the disadvantages of harmful content in
fertilizers
are outweighed by the new habit of consuming and the connection between
people
.
As a consequence
, repurposing open places to form gardening extents remains a superior benefit in the current era.
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grammar
Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing affect clarity, though not to a significant extent. Focus on refining sentence structure and word choice for better readability. For example, instead of "many cities in Japan have started this project and successfully bridge the gap between their people," you could say "many cities in Japan have successfully implemented this project, bridging gaps within the community."
content development
Your main points are strong and relevant, but consider presenting a bit more balance in the discussion of disadvantages. This will provide a more comprehensive view and enhance the argument. For instance, explore potential challenges in maintaining such gardens or discuss more about the environmental impact.
coherence
Improving upon the use of transitional words can enhance the flow of the essay. Words like "Moreover," "Additionally," and "Conversely" can be used to better connect your ideas.
introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and establishes the writer’s stance, which is well done.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer’s position.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community engagement
  • Social bonds
  • Sense of belonging
  • Physical exercise
  • Stress reduction
  • Fresh produce
  • Healthier lifestyles
  • Local biodiversity
  • Urban environment
  • Carbon footprint
  • Educational opportunities
  • Agriculture
  • Nutrition
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly practices
  • Household grocery costs
  • Surplus produce
  • Economic boost
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