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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in education system?

#computers #education #system
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Today it is quite difficult to follow the development of technologies across all
the
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apply
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aspects of our
life
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lives
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. Education is not an exception. The studying process depends on computers
ever
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even
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 more. It is hard to think of a student who does his homework without any devices. In
this
 essay,
advantages
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the advantages
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 and disadvantages of using computers in
education
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the education
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 system will be discussed. The main benefit of using electronics at schools and universities is accessibility. Nowadays professors do not struggle with searching the information they have to prepare for the students. It does not require as much time as it used to
,
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 when teachers would browse through multiple textbooks to search for the exact material they need. Now the whole process
became
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has become
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 easier and does not take hours to complete.
Moreover
,
this
 fact can be applied to the ones who are taught at
the
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apply
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educational institutions. Pupils are able
solve
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to solve
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 the assignments by themselves, without any help from their parents. Another advantage of using computers at universities and schools is the diversity. Modern teenagers are given unique opportunities to gain knowledge through various methods. Starting with presentations and ending with listening materials. All these things can be done via electronic devices. What about
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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, the main issue is that students do not absorb all the knowledge they receive. The amount of information they face each day is enormous.
This
 results in situations when people struggle with answering the exact same question they find the solution to. Educational expert Sammie Szmodics says that most pupils can not digest the information they find via
Internet
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the Internet
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.
This
 means that without any modern sources, like
Youtube
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YouTube
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, Wikipedia and so on, students become helpless.
To sum
up
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up,
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 all the things mentioned before, people have to find a balance
in
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between
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 using
Internet
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the Internet
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 and conservative sources of gaining knowledge.
Otherwise
, humanity will end up fully dependent on modern technologies.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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task achievement
The essay covers the topic well but adding a few more specific examples would provide stronger support for your main points. You could include real-world instances or statistical data to further underline your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with distinct paragraphs, which is good. However, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Adding a few linking words or phrases would help in improving the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented. They clearly outline what will be discussed and summarize the essay effectively.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly expressed, and your points are logically presented, which makes the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The advantages and disadvantages are evenly balanced, showing a fair and objective view on the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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