Throughout history, male leaders have led us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#history #leaders #violence #conflict #society

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People experienced the worst disaster caused by both

world war

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World War

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one and

two

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Two

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and we still facing

many

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much

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trouble all across the

world

Surprinsingly

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Surprisingly

, most of the nations are managed by

men

. Some think that these serial conflicts are tied to the

the

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apply

show examples

genre of leaders. In my opinion, looking into

female

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females

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as presidents

instead

of masculine could appease the situation because they are more empathetic and tolerant.

To begin

with,

women

as leaders can contribute to a peaceful atmosphere in the

world

because they are

empathetics

Correct your spelling

empathetic

. Violence has become the

solely

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sole

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solution to solve the problems among societies.

Men

do not hesitate to use it to impose their point of view. With

women

this

approach

wil

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will

be different as more sensitive humans. They will make an effort to avert terrible

situation

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situations

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such

killing

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as killing

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children,

women

rapism, and moving of people.

Additionallly

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Additionally

, knowing how people can suffer in case of conflict and how vulnerable are children and

women

this

awareness will be beneficial for the

world

to prevent catastrophic events.

On the other hand

, female presidents are needed in the

world

for their tolerance. It is known that

feminins

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feminine

feminists

are not tough when it comes to

forgive

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forgiveness

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This

quality can save humanity from

mess

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the mess

a mess

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Conversely

men

are more arrogant in

negociation

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negotiation

. Most of the time, they listen to their ego to manage

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society

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societies

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society

show examples

For instance

, the war between Ukraine and Russia is

due to

arrogance

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the arrogance

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of their

learders

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leaders

learners

. In conclusion, The

world

will come back to

normal

Correct article usage

a normal

show examples

stituation

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situation

women

take over

men

as leaders because they are more

empathetics

Correct your spelling

empathetic

and

tolerants

Correct your spelling

tolerance

tolerant

Submitted by ibamba88 on Mon May 27 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your introduction is clear, succinct, and introduces the main ideas of the essay. Avoid any minor errors in spelling and grammar to improve clarity.

task achievement

Try to elaborate your main points with more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Your current examples, while relevant, are somewhat vague.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance the logical flow of your points by using clear and appropriate linking words or phrases. This will help in creating a cohesive argument.

general

Pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy throughout the essay. Minor errors can accumulate and affect the overall clarity and quality of your writing.

coherence and cohesion

Try to structure your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should ideally contain a single main point which is then supported by relevant details or examples.

task achievement

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay.

task achievement

The ideas presented are relevant and address the prompt accurately.

coherence and cohesion

There is a logical flow to your argument, which aids in understanding the points you are making.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender dynamics
militaristic policies
expansionist
diplomatic governance
risk-taking
societal norms
inclusive approach
collaborative governance
gender stereotypes
individual qualities
comprehensive approach
conflict resolution
aggression
historical context
colonial expansion
contemporary
male dominance
innate differences
peaceful governance
competitive strategies

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Throughout history, male leaders have led us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Politicians’ private lives should not be printed in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages of renting a home? Should governments subsidies house prices for first home buyers?

Some people think that job satisfaction is the most important factor when looking for a job. Others think that having job security is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other age groups. What are causes of this problem and what can be done to solve it?