Throughout history, male leaders have led us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
People experienced the worst disaster caused by both
world war
one and Correct your spelling
World War
two
and we still facing Capitalize word
Two
many
trouble all across the Replace the quantifier
much
world
. Surprinsingly
, most of the nations are managed by Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
men
. Some think that these serial conflicts are tied to the the
genre of leaders. In my opinion, looking into Remove the redundancy
apply
female
as presidents Fix the agreement mistake
females
instead
of masculine could appease the situation because they are more empathetic and tolerant.
To begin
with, women
as leaders can contribute to a peaceful atmosphere in the world
because they are empathetics
. Violence has become the Correct your spelling
empathetic
solely
solution to solve the problems among societies. Change the adverb
sole
Men
do not hesitate to use it to impose their point of view. With women
, this
approach wil
be different as more sensitive humans. They will make an effort to avert terrible Correct your spelling
will
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
such
killing
children, Change preposition
as killing
women
rapism, and moving of people. Additionallly
, knowing how people can suffer in case of conflict and how vulnerable are children and Correct your spelling
Additionally
women
, this
awareness will be beneficial for the world
to prevent catastrophic events.
On the other hand
, female presidents are needed in the world
for their tolerance. It is known that feminins
are not tough when it comes to Correct your spelling
feminine
feminists
forgive
. Replace the word
forgiveness
This
quality can save humanity from mess
. Add an article
the mess
a mess
Conversely
, men
are more arrogant in negociation
. Most of the time, they listen to their ego to manage Correct your spelling
negotiation
Fix the agreement mistake
society
societies
. Fix the agreement mistake
society
For instance
, the war between Ukraine and Russia is due to
arrogance
of their Add an article
the arrogance
learders
.
In conclusion, The Correct your spelling
leaders
learners
world
will come back to normal
Correct article usage
a normal
stituation
if Correct your spelling
situation
women
take over men
as leaders because they are more empathetics
and Correct your spelling
empathetic
tolerants
.Correct your spelling
tolerance
tolerant
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task achievement
Ensure your introduction is clear, succinct, and introduces the main ideas of the essay. Avoid any minor errors in spelling and grammar to improve clarity.
task achievement
Try to elaborate your main points with more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Your current examples, while relevant, are somewhat vague.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your points by using clear and appropriate linking words or phrases. This will help in creating a cohesive argument.
general
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy throughout the essay. Minor errors can accumulate and affect the overall clarity and quality of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should ideally contain a single main point which is then supported by relevant details or examples.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant and address the prompt accurately.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical flow to your argument, which aids in understanding the points you are making.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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