In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their product. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development of children ?

The competition has become so huge that
companies
use different strategies to reach customers. Most of them resort to media or the internet to expose their goods. Some processing food restaurants and supermarkets target
schools
to promote their
products
.
This
strategy must be strictly forbidden because children are more vulnerable and ignorant.
To begin
with,
schools
do not have to be associated with
companies
's publicity because of their vulnerability. Receiving money from these industries can lead
schools
to have a furtive approach to
products
and mislead pupils about their use which will have a bad impact on toddlers' knowledge.
Additionally
, learners can blindly consume
products
without looking at their impact on their health.
On the other hand
, colleges should not be the partners of
companies
for their advertisements because adolescents are ignorant. Minors are not able to distinguish the components of foods and only judge by tasting. Yet, fast-food restaurants attract customers more with taste than quality. Even though they are aware of the danger of junk food,
This
practice can easily get the attention of young people because of the influence of peers.
To sum up
,
schools
should be avoided by
companies
to promote their
products
because of the vulnerability and ignorance of students.
Submitted by ibamba88 on

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relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, mention specific instances or data where school promotions have negatively impacted children's health or decision-making abilities.
complete response
Provide a clearer and stronger thesis statement in the introduction. It will help set a definitive stance that guides the essay's direction.
logical structure
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to make the essay more cohesive. For example, use transition words like "Moreover," "Furthermore," or "However" when adding points or counterpoints.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear concluding paragraph that effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position.
complete response
Your essay addresses the prompt well and takes a clear stance on the issue.
logical structure
The essay maintains a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • childhood obesity
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate marketing strategies
  • extracurricular programs
  • nutritional information
  • paradox
  • brand loyalty
  • sugar, fat, and sodium
  • health problems
  • educational messages
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