IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #tourist #arrivals #five #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
The line graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 information about international tourist
arravals
Correct your spelling
arrivals
 in millions for five
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 countries (USA,France,Malaysia,
Brazil
, and
Egypt
) from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
, it can be seen that the largest increase is in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and France
while
Brazil
 and
Egypt
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the lowest point . Getting back to the details, in 1995,
tourists
 were a little less than 10
million
 in
Egypt
 and
Brazil
then
 they
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to increase steadily till 2010
Brazil
 was just above 10
million
 and
Egypt
 become just under 20
million
 meanwhile the figure of
tourists
 in Malaysia was around 20
million
 in 1995
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and kept increasing
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
 till it reached about 40
million
 in 2010.
According to
 the graph
also
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 was at the highest point with around 70
million
tourists
while
 the number of
tourists
 in France was about 30
million
 in 1995
then
 it
jupm
Correct your spelling
jump
 to 60
million
 in 2000, After that they both
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to go up till they meet in 2010 with around 80
million
tourists
.
Submitted by isumiah3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words brazil, egypt, tourists, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: