many children are encouraged by their parent to get a part time job. what are the advantages and disadvantages to children doing so?
It is widely believed that working
Change preposition
at on
on
early Correct your spelling
an
ages
could be prolific for children. Many families, Fix the agreement mistake
age
therefore
, motivate their young ones to land a part-time job
. Clearly, there are both merits and demerits to this
matter.
The advantages of pupils' employment are seen by some to be significant. One obvious advantage is to get familiar with the work environment which may be fruitful for their future. In other words
, they may undergo some difficulties and challenges that never have they experienced unless they become an employee. A good case in point is a young boy, who has never worked before, is
hired by a restaurant to Correct word choice
and is
waitering
on tables. His first days would be painful physically and mentally Correct your spelling
wait
due to
bringing and taking food, additionally
, to communicate
with various Wrong verb form
communicating
set
of Fix the agreement mistake
sets
peoples
. But after a Fix the agreement mistake
people
while
, he would learn how to deal with his job
problems which would prepare him for his future career.
There are, however
, certain disadvantages to children's working. Considering How stressful could be a workplace, youngsters may possibly suffer mentally. Since,
they are young, they might take Remove the comma
apply
job
challenges way to
seriously. They, Correct your spelling
too
furthermore
, do not have any experience in handling work pressure. therefore
, some mental adverse effects would be inevitable. There seems also
to be another disadvantage. when the young are taken on for a position, they will be in contact with individuals of various ages which might contribute to learning about subjects that youngsters are not ready to receive. An example to illustrate this
is subjects related to adults which could spoil children's thoughts toward their parents.
To conclude
, the truth is that the young working in part-time occupations could be prolific in terms of preparation for the job
market and monetary matters. So, this
is a great way to broaden overall
experience and knowledge. However
, we should not lose sight of the fact that there might be consequences which affect pupils' attitudes and mental health.Submitted by h.safaralizade on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure that each paragraph has a clear and singular focus. For instance, avoid mixing multiple points in one paragraph.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, ensure that examples provided are relevant and directly support the point being made. This can help in adequately illustrating your arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides a thorough examination of both advantages and disadvantages of children having part-time jobs, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the boy working at the restaurant, effectively illustrates the points being made.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-organized structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between ideas and paragraphs are mostly smooth, helping to maintain the flow of the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!