IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The tendency of new reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive deveopments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. to what extend agree or disagree

#tendency #reporters #media #focus #emergencies #deveopments #individuals #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, some reporters on
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media have a tendency to
concentrat
Correct your spelling
concentrate
 on bad
news
 and
problems
 in
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
,so it can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 and
society
.
Capitalize word
In
show examples
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Correct your spelling
strongly
strangly
Correct your spelling
strongly
 agree that
Correct your spelling
focusing
foucsing
Correct your spelling
focusing
 on
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
news
 can
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 lots of
problems
 for fragile
people
 and fluctuation economy of the country.
Firstly
, spreading bad
news
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reporters in
society
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 in the media can have serious negative
affeacts
Correct your spelling
effects
affects
 on fragile
person
Change the noun form
people
show examples
, like
eldear
Correct your spelling
elderly
 and aged. because many peoples suffer from a lack of diseases like
cardio vascular
Correct your spelling
cardiovascular
show examples
 and
hyper tension
Correct your spelling
hypertension
show examples
, so if they
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 faced with bad
news
 that's make a lot of
problems
 or in some cases death.
in other words
, some doctors have always been
warrning
Correct your spelling
warning
 us,
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not
people
 with serious sickness faced with
a emergencies
Correct the article-noun agreement
an emergency
emergencies
show examples
 or harmful
news
.
Secondly
, developing
worth
Replace the word
worthy
show examples
news
 by the
paparasi
Correct your spelling
paparazzi
 or press can have negative
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
 on
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 conditions of the country. some
people
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 have
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
show examples
 to
highlighet
Correct your spelling
highlight
 bad
news
 for
surffing
Correct your spelling
surfing
 on financial
martek
Correct your spelling
market
.
in other words
, many individual's
interst
Correct your spelling
interest
 in
defrad
Correct your spelling
defraud
defrag
 other
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 bad
news
 for increasing the price of goods in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. because most of the population in the
society
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not have enough information about
backgroud
Correct your spelling
background
 the bad
news
, so
speending
Correct your spelling
spending
 all the money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buying goods
beafore
Correct your spelling
before
 increasing price, which can increase
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 of the all things in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. in
conclusin
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, many reporters of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
news
 like to spread the worth and emergencies in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
,which can
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
problems
 for aged
people
 and economics in the country.
Submitted by salehmiri1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
It's important to address all parts of the task prompt. The essay discusses the negative impacts of focusing on bad news, but it could be enhanced by exploring the counterarguments or delving deeper into how exactly society and individuals are harmed.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. Using more linking words and phrases can significantly improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is clearly supported by relevant and specific examples. This will help to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar. Small grammatical errors can sometimes distract the reader from your main points.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint, which sets a clear direction for your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay, with distinct paragraphs for different main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: