The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which girls participate.

#graphs #show #survey #children #activities #first #leisure #boys #second #girls

The two pie charts compare the percentage of males and females

participation

Replace the word

participating

show examples

in different leisure and cultural activities. It is noticeable that the same proportion of men and women enjoyed listening to music,

while

a far higher percentage of

girls

enjoyed reading. The kid’s

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

sports

also

differed widely from one another. First off, just over a third of

boys

play computer games

while

a quarter play basketball.

Additionally

, just over one in

tenth

Add an article

a tenth

the tenth

show examples

of males enjoy skateboarding, and nearly one in five play soccer. The graphic makes it clear that guys enjoy outdoor sports and games the most.

Boys

have extremely bad reading habits, only 2% of them are readers. Interestingly, the number of

boys

and

girls

who enjoy listening to music is equal (10%). Moving on

lady

Fix the agreement mistake

ladies

show examples

girls

are not as likely as males to play computer games. The two most popular activities among

girls

are reading more than a fifth are great readers and dancing 27% pick

this

up. Gymnastics and netball are popular outdoor sports and activities among females , with 11% and 15% respectively. It is interesting to note that the ratio of reading among

girls

is considerably higher than that of

boys

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Mon May 27 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words girls, boys with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

199 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

survey
cultural activities
leisure activities
participate
percentage
gender difference
similar participation rates
traditional gender roles
trends
impact
parental influence
extracurricular activities
accessible

What to do next:

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The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which girls participate.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the less of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?