IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, governments are encouraging businesses and industries to move to regional areas outside big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many nations, industries and businesses are encouraged by states to shift to regional areas far away from megacities. In my opinion, I believe that
this
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 initiative can bring about more problems for a
company
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 compared to any advantages it might bring. Admittedly, there are some basic benefits of moving away from big cities for industries and
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business
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businesses
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. First of all, every
multi-national
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multinational
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company
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 needs
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 space for their office which is almost impossible or extremely hard for them as it requires a massive amount of money.
On the other hand
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, gaining acres of land in regional areas is super easy because many of those lands are completely abandoned and can be acquired at low prices. What is more, the remaining money can be utilized in other sectors in order to increase
production
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. Another positive aspect is that being outside of town means industrial waste would not affect people's
life
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lives
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 because they can throw it away in some desolate location. They can,
consequently
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, gain public respect for their action which eventually increases their
overall
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sell
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sales
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 and profit.
Nevertheless
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, despite the advantages above, I think industries and businesses will face some serious drawbacks if they decide to leave big cities.
Firstly
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, managing any
business
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 or industry from a rural area is exceptionally tough for the simple reason that not everything that
requires
Wrong verb form
is required
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 to run a
company
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 is available there. And by the time they can get the stuff the
overall
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production
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 of a
company
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 will slow down.
Secondly
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, in order to get the necessary raw materials, they must bear the vehicle cost all by themselves which will affect their
overall
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 financial structure negatively. A recent study showed that companies that operate the
business
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 from a regional area often struggle with their financial means as their vehicle cost is
away
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far
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 higher than other companies but
production
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 is relatively slow.
To conclude
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, I think delaying the
production
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 or carrying unnecessary vehicle
cost
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costs
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 far outweigh any of the minor benefits that could result from shifting industry and
business
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 to the regional territory.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, more detailed explanations and specific examples could be included to further clarify and reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied cohesive devices and transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea and directly supports the main argument of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively and provides a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined and help to frame the essay.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided, such as the challenges and benefits related to costs and logistics.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • urban congestion
  • cost of living
  • operational costs
  • infrastructural challenges
  • skilled workforce
  • environmental impact
  • community development
  • employee relocation
  • job opportunities
  • local economies
  • traffic reduction
  • pollution reduction
  • urban ecosystems
  • resistant
  • job satisfaction
What to do next:
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