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Band 5

Some people think that paying taxes is their only responsibility towards society while others feel that everyone should do more. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #taxes #responsibility #society
Paying
taxes
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
responsibility
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each individual in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
people
 are split
i to
Correct your spelling
into
 half first group
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
show examples
 that paying
taxes
 is the only
responsibility
 that they should do to the
society
,
while
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 some oppose their opinion and believe that
people
 need to support the
community
 with more stuff. Some
people
 see paying their
taxes
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 the only
responsibility
 that they have towards the
community
. They think that by paying their
taxes
 they finished their tasks and
responsibility
 toward the
society
.
Moreover
, they count the
taxes
 as paying
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
 of money to be out of serving their surrounding
community
.
According to
 The New York
Times
Add a comma
Times,
show examples
 those
people
 who are paying higher
taxes
 are the same
people
 who are using the
society
 facilities and running them,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 in New York
due to
 the
variblase
Correct your spelling
variables
variable
of
taxes
 amount in the
last
 three years,
also
 the financial support of the surrounding states.
On the other hand
, some
people
 oppose their opinion and view that individuals need to work more than just paying
taxes
 to help
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 for certain factors. They see that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are a lot of reasonable things that they can do to help their
community
 like Aid support and
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 jobs that may lead to a safer and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happier
society
.
For example
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1991 a study happened in Richmond VA that showed
while
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 getting
people
 busy and having them help each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 in their free time
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 more than 37 percent of
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
. In conclusion, my perspective is helping
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 and try to work more is much better and safer for individuals and families.
Submitted by sulaimanshabib5 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the introduction by clearly outlining both perspectives and stating your own opinion to frame the discussion better.
coherence cohesion
Improve your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed and restating your opinion comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your main points and ensure that each paragraph addresses a single idea for better readability.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively by providing more relevant supporting examples and elaborating on your viewpoints.
task achievement
Make sure to use varied and precise vocabulary to better express your ideas and arguments.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vary your sentence structure to enhance the clarity of your essay.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses both viewpoints and provides a personal opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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