IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your latter •Explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months •Say how your work could be done while you are away •Ask for his/her help in arranging it

#work #company #six #months #head #office #country #manager #latter #•explain #company’s #•say #•ask
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 epistle regarding a humble request
of
Change preposition
for
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 my transfer from India to Canada for half a year. Let me put forth my affairs.
Actually
Add a comma
Actually,
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 my wife is suffering from
deadly
Correct article usage
a deadly
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 disease
about
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apply
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which
about
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apply
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I would not like to share and keep
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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confidential.
Moreover
, we have been moving back and forth from Chandigarh to Delhi for her treatment, in the hope that she would get better.
However
, a few days back doctors
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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suggested
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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visit Canada to cure her disease from the roots which might take 6 months. Even though it would be hard to adjust because of the time difference in both
the
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apply
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countries, I assure you that I will
working
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work
be working
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according to
 the Indian time
while
 residing there. As all my work is done
through
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on
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laptop
Add an article
a laptop
the laptop
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, I would prefer
working
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to work
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 from home.
Thus
, it will help me focus both on work and on my wife’s health.
Although
, it is an extra affair for you, it would kind of you if you could talk to the
Hr
Correct your spelling
HR
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 team
for
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about
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 my transfer. I would
also
 appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 could get a new laptop from the company as my old laptop requires some repair. Looking forward for a prompt reply.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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 sincerely, Daniel
Submitted by jaspreet on

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suitable writing tone
Avoid overly formal or overly informal phrases; aim for a professional tone.
single idea per paragraph
Use paragraphs effectively; consider separating different points to make the letter clearer.
complete response
Ensure to proofread for small grammatical errors and typos to ensure clarity.
suitable writing tone
Your letter is polite and communicates your request clearly.
complete response
You provided a valid reason for your request and outlined how you plan to manage your work effectively.
logical structure
The letter has a clear opening and closing, making it structured and easy to follow.
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