In many places, new homes are needed, but the only place available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What it your opinion about this?

All the major cities around the world
is
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are
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overcrowded, many people believe that they should build new homes in the countryside
however
some
against
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are against
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its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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to protect the rural area. In
this
essay
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essay,
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I will provide my opinion about
possitives
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positives
positive
and drawbacks before
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drawing
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draw
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drawing
show examples
Correct article usage
a
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the
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a
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conclusion. First of all,
accomodations
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accommodation
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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the most important for
every one
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everyone
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, they need new homes
prepare
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to prepare
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for the growth of the population
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, for example,
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for example
they are
researches
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research
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about
population
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the population
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mention
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mentions
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that new babies
borns
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born
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in
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apply
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every
secorn
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second
sector
scorn
.
Furthermore
,
quality
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the quality
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of life in
countryside
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the countryside
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must
better
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be better
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that
Correct word choice
than
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in the big city which
have
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has
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too much noise, pollution and less green space. On the
othe
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other
hand, Urban
expensions
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expansions
extensions
expansion
will cause effects
to
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on
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the environment
such
as
deforrest
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deforestation
for development to
meets
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meet
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a housing demands
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housing demands
a housing demand
show examples
,
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and its
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its
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it
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will destroy natural habitats and biodiversity.
To conclude
, the demand
of
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for
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new homes
always
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is always
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the major
problems
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problem
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to
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for
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every country. In my opinion,
by
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apply
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centralise people and
everythings
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everything
in one area is easy to manage
however
in the long run there are
to
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too
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many disadvantages.
Extend
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Extending
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new
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodation
to the countryside is the most suitable idea for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future development.
Submitted by o_unanan on

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Grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy and range. Some sentences contain errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'its will destroy natural habitats and biodiversity'. Proper grammar lends more clarity and professionalism.
Coherence
Strengthen the coherence by ensuring each paragraph flows logically. Some points feel disconnected, like jumping from city issues to quality of life without a smooth transitional phrase.
Task response
Provide more specific examples and supporting details for your main arguments. For instance, when talking about noise and pollution in cities, giving statistics or studies can enhance credibility.
Conclusion
Your conclusion needs to clearly restate your stance while summarizing the key points. Consider reiterating your main arguments more clearly in the conclusion.
Sentence Variety
Vary your sentence structures and vocabulary to make the essay more engaging and showcase a higher level of language proficiency.
Introduction
The introduction effectively presents the issue and sets the stage for the discussion, making it clear what the essay will cover.
Content
You make a strong point about the drawbacks of urban expansion such as harming the environment and natural habitats, which shows a thoughtful consideration of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental conservation
  • Natural habitats
  • Biodiversity
  • Ecosystems
  • Disruption
  • Sustainable development
  • Housing density
  • High-rise buildings
  • Urban expansion
  • Renovation
  • Infrastructure costs
  • Local rural economies
  • Quality of life
  • Community cohesion
  • Noise pollution
  • Green space
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