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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the percentage of river water inUK rivers that is classified as having good chemical quality between 1990 and 2002.

The chart below shows the percentage of river water inUK rivers that is classified as having good chemical quality between 1990 and 2002.
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Contained in the line graph is pertaining to the proportion of river water quality in the UK which
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 good at
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
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 from 1990 to 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the good chemical quality in
Scotland
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 always
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 except from 1998 to 2001. It can be observed that
Wales
Use synonyms
 started at a higher point than Northern
Ireland
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true in 2002. Looking at
Wales
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 and Northern
Ireland
Use synonyms
 in
further
Linking Words
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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, it is evident that
Wales
Use synonyms
 and Northern
Ireland
Use synonyms
 began at almost 95 per
cent
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 and 85 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it remained unchanged for the next eight
years
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 and overtook at just over 90 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1999.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Wales
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 slightly decreased to around 80 per
cent
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 Northern
Ireland
Use synonyms
 increased and stood at 95 per
cent
Use synonyms
 between 2000 and 2002. Turning to
England
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 and
Use synonyms
Scotland
Change noun form
Scotland's
show examples
statistic
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statistics
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, in 1990, the amount of good
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
 in
England
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 significantly increased in the next six
years
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 and reached a peak at almost 70 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1996. After two
years
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,
England
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 rapidly decreased to 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
Scotland
Use synonyms
 significantly increased and overtook
England
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 at around 60 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Finally
Linking Words
, the proportion of good
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
 in
Scotland
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 went down to almost 40 per
cent
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while
Linking Words
 in
England
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 dramatically went up
just
Change preposition
by just
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at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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half for the next two
years
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, whereas, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words scotland, wales, ireland, cent, years, england with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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