Fresh water has always been a limited resources in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, and what measures can government and individuals take to respond to this problem.

In recent years, fresh
water
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
restricted only in some particular places.
Thus
, some say that the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
fresh
water
has become a global issue.
This
essay explains why
this
problem
rises up
Verb problem
exists
show examples
and what proposals
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
government
responds
Replace the word
response
show examples
to
this
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
.
Firstly
, the main factor why
this
problem
happens is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
such
as social media and TV allows people to clearly see the difference between developed and developing
countries
.
This
leads some of them to realize what
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to
do
Wrong verb form
be done
show examples
to improve the entire earth, and they claim that
this
problem
should be considered and discussed more carefully.
Additionally
, since its situation has become quite harsh nowadays, people have to cope with it. Because of the
availablity
Correct your spelling
availability
of
reaching
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fresh
water
, individuals in some
countries
can only drink dirty
water
which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them get serious diseases. In order to solve
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
requires
Wrong verb form
is required
show examples
to brainstorm some ideas. The easiest and fastest way to ease the
problem
is
providing
Change preposition
by providing
show examples
fresh
water
from developed
countries
. When they try to create a facility to change dirty
water
into clear
water
, it needs huge costs, workers, and time which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
it more serious.
For instance
, if a developed nation sends fresh
water
to a developing country, it takes around a week.
However
, it
needs
Verb problem
takes
show examples
more than a half year when they construct a machine to create fresh
water
.
Therefore
, sending
water
from developed
countries
is more effective, and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should do
this
. In conclusion, there are two reasons why the lack of fresh
water
in some parts of the
earch
Correct your spelling
earth
search
has been a crucial issue, so sending
water
from developed
countries
would be a possible solution.
Submitted by ryoga17.0325 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the causes and solutions for the increased demand for fresh water, it needs more in-depth analysis and clearer examples. Try to provide more detailed explanations and a few specific case studies or data points to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main ideas and follows a logical order. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more robust. Work on improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
language
Review your grammar and vocabulary to avoid small errors and make your writing more sophisticated. While minor errors don't drastically lower your score, greater linguistic accuracy and a wider range of vocabulary can make your writing more compelling.
task achievement
You tackled both causes and solutions well, ensuring that you responded to all parts of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resource
  • growing worldwide demand
  • industrial growth
  • water-intensive crops
  • prolonged droughts
  • usable water
  • water conservation
  • water efficiency
  • infrastructure
  • fixing leaks
  • water-efficient appliances
  • water waste
  • renewable energy sources
  • water footprint
  • transboundary water basins
  • water-stressed regions
What to do next:
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