Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles natural talents. various professionals have pushed for an educational revolution. Are there alternatives in the educational system. Is traditional education doing more harm than good? Give reasons for your answer.

In the present work, there are many learning ways invented to enhance the learning ability of each type of student. Some professionals have decided to revolutionise the
education
system
into
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with
show examples
alternatives to the educational
system
.
Whereas traditional
Correct word choice
Traditional
show examples
schooling is not effective anymore, causing boredom and limiting the natural talents of
students
.
Following
this
, I personally believe that the old educational
system
brings more negative influences than positive ones. The analysis of traditional schools,
as well as
the alternative ways of
education
in new generation
students
, will prove
this
.
Firstly
, learning in the old-school way
such
as learning in the square classroom for 8 hours a day, taking the formal examination to evaluate
students
' performances and being taught by strict teachers would bring to lack of creativities, loss their motivation and low performance. To illustrate, some
students
learn in the classroom for a whole day long, and getting tired leads them distracted from the context and end up getting a bad grade.
Therefore
,
this
is not only harmful to
students
' performances but
also
affects
heir
Correct your spelling
their
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self-esteem proving that traditional schooling is not suitable for
students
anymore.
Secondly
, there are few alternative options in
education
like using technologies in order to help and advise
students
to improve their weak points and their personal talent skills effectively.
Moreover
, learning
among
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in
show examples
the relevant environment
also
enhances the motivation and interest of
students
.
For instance
, if teachers bring their class to visit the national park or walk through the natural trail,
students
will pay more attention and get a better comprehension of Biological topics.
Following
this
, it is apparent that
the
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apply
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traditional learning cannot achieve
this
successful goal just only learning with books.
To conclude
, many learning options are designed to disrupt the traditional educational
system
which leads to many benefits to
students
' learning performances.
While
the traditional school always cause some advantages greater than the alternative educational
system
. From my perspective,
this
is not the fault of the old educational ways because
education
is developing from time to time, yet it is just not suitable for every student anymore.
Submitted by pnakasont on

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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are addressed fully. For instance, more emphasis could be placed on specific examples of traditional schooling doing harm.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on the effectiveness of alternatives to traditional education. Adding specific success stories or statistical data can strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit lengthy and could benefit from being broken down for better clarity. More concise sentences can improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly present and explore all relevant main points to ensure they are well-supported. This will provide stronger arguments and improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps in maintaining a logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
The writer attempts to address both the negative aspects of traditional education and the potential benefits of alternatives, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Use of transitional phrases helps in connecting ideas smoothly, which enhances the reader's understanding.
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