Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the government, while others think that it should be the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both sides and give your oppinion.
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During the
years, there has been a faster growth
ofChange preposition
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the percentage of
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people suffering from obesity, which affects the entire health system.
Body · 2
some individuals may think that the best solution could be found in the schools,
Body · 3
by giving more hours of physical education to the students I differ almost for
Body · 5
If the solution to
overweightAdd an article
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problem were as simple as adding hours of physical
Body · 6
activities to the
schoolsFix the agreement mistake
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curriculum, I am pretty sure that a long time ago, that
Body · 7
problem would have been
, but the truth is that the real root of that
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matterAdd an article
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goes much deeper, and in order to fix it is necessary to take more
Conclusion
aspects in
accountAdd an article
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.
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To strengthen your essay, it would be helpful to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. For instance, citing studies or real-life instances of government interventions or individual efforts would make the discussion more concrete.
Your introduction is clear, but it would be beneficial to restate the question or provide a precise thesis statement to clearly outline what your essay will discuss.
It is important to include a conclusion that sums up your arguments and clearly states your own opinion, tying the discussion back to the prompt.
Your essay has a clear focus and addresses the topic adequately.
You have made an effort to discuss both viewpoints and provide your perspective, showcasing a balanced approach.
The essay follows a logical structure, making it relatively easy to follow your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.