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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As countries develop, people tend to buy more and more cars. Do you think the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

#countries #people #cars #environment
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The surge in private car ownership,
while
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 offering convenience and autonomy to individuals, poses substantial drawbacks for the environment.
While
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 some argue that personal
vehicles
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 contribute positively by optimizing energy use and alleviating strain on public transport, the adverse environmental implications significantly outweigh these advantages. On the positive side, the contemporary shift toward electric
vehicles
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 reflects an effort to conserve energy resources. These
vehicles
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 exemplify an efficient mode of transportation, reducing reliance on fossil fuels and curbing emissions.
Moreover
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, the individual use of cars helps ease congestion during peak hours, thereby diminishing
air
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pollution
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 resulting from heavy reliance on public transport.
However
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, the swift increase in private car numbers exacerbates environmental problems. The growing quantity of
vehicles
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 leads to a rise in emissions, primarily contributing to the worsening of the greenhouse effect.
This
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further
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 deteriorates urban
air
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 quality, precipitating pervasive
air
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pollution
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 detrimental to human health.
Additionally
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, the increase in cars results in
surge
Add an article
a surge
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 of noise
pollution
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due to
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 continuous honking and traffic noise, disrupting the peacefulness of urban areas.
Furthermore
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, the rising demand for
vehicles
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 intensifies resource consumption, leading to higher carbon emissions and environmental degradation during the extraction and processing of materials
such
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 as petroleum, steel, and plastic. In conclusion,
while
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 private car ownership offers convenience, the burgeoning numbers
exact
Verb problem
take
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 a significant toll on the environment. The detrimental impacts on
air
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 quality, noise
pollution
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, and heightened resource consumption far outweigh the benefits, underscoring the urgent need for sustainable alternatives to mitigate environmental degradation.
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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning cities where car usage has significantly impacted air quality or noting specific benefits from electric vehicle adoption would provide more concrete support for your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure a smoother transition between some sentences and paragraphs. This will help in maintaining a logical and fluid flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported and show a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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