The chart belows gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

#belows #information #workers #occupations #australia

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The bar chart illustrates data about the number of migration employees to Australia in different 4 careers from 2009 to 2012.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be

seeen

Correct your spelling

seen

that the number of accountants was the highest trend

while

Linking Words

the figure for computer

programmer

Fix the agreement mistake

programmers

show examples

was the lowest.

In addition

Linking Words

, cook and software engineer were a slight decrease. Looking at the figures in

further

Linking Words

detail, the number of

accountant

Change to a plural noun

accountants

show examples

started at 20

thousand

Use synonyms

and

then

Linking Words

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

a peak of 28

thousand

Use synonyms

before ending the period at 21

thousand

Use synonyms

in 2012.

By contrast

Linking Words

, the figure

Correct your spelling

for

show examples

computer programmer at the same trend around 2

thousand

Use synonyms

between 2009 and 2011 after which it experienced a rise to 5

thousad

Correct your spelling

thousand

in 2012. Turning to the remaining statistics, the data for cook fluctuated from 15 to 18

thousand

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

software

Add an article

a software

show examples

engineer

Wrong verb form

engineering

show examples

was

Verb problem

saw

show examples

a slight rise

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

starting at 19

thousand

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

but

show examples

then

Linking Words

it witnessed a decrease to 17

thousand

Use synonyms

in 2012.

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue May 28 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousand with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

153 words

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The chart belows gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

Some people think that modern tecchnology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable Discuss both views and give your opinion

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

You need to take some time off from work to go on holiday. Write a letter to your direct manager. In your letter: Ask for time off and explain why Provide the dates and times for which you will be unavailable to work Describe what you will do to prepare or make up for your absence

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?