The chart below gives information on number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012
The provided chart compares the details on the
number
of employers in various jobs of people
immigrating to Australia from 2009 to 2012.
In general , it can be seen that the number
of people
who immigrated chose Accountant to apply was the highest point in others jobs through over years . Besides
that , Software Engineer was ranked second in the number
of people
just behind Accountants. Especially , average of people
who applied for Cook was similar in four years . While
others also
tended to increase , Computer Programmer was the lowest that people
less paying attention.
Looking at the figures in further
detail, it was shown that Accountant in 2010 was the highest point with 28,000 workers
per year . The figures for accountants in 2009 , 2011 and 2012 were 20,000 workers
, 22,000 workers
and 21,000 workers
, respectively compared to Software Engineers in 2010 and 2011 were 20,000 workers
and 21,000 workers
, respectively.
Turning to the remaining statistics, it clear
that the average of Add a missing verb
is clear
workers
who applied for Cook also
had a significant difference in through years . It can be seen that by 2009 and 2011 , Cook had the number
of employers fluctuated from 17,000 workers
to 18,000 workers
, 2011 just higher than 2009 by 1,000 workers
. Also
in the same job , from 2010 to 2012 , it had the number
of employers was 15,000 workers
and 16,000 workers
, respectively . Finally
, regarding Computer Programmer , the jobs that people
choose just had under 10, 000 workers
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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