IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

discuss whether the advangtages of nuclear energy outweigh the potential risks and environment concerns

#advangtages #energy #risks #environment #concerns
A common trend
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 frequently around the globe in all facets of society is the
power
 generated from non-renewable
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 like nuclear.
While
 the usage of nuclear energy towards the environment would be eco-friendly, the inevitable drawbacks of radioactive effect and high cost outweigh
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 positive
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
. One of the focal disadvantages of generating nuclear
power
 is the leakage of radiation.
In other words
,
while
 creating nuclear energy, most of them are used but there is
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 part of them being leaked and released.
As a consequence
, citizens surrounding the
power
 plant would be affected and it would cause health-relating disorders
along with
 the radioactive land was unable to
Add a missing verb
be ultilize
show examples
ultilize
Correct your spelling
utilised
 for
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 purposes. Another negative aspect of nuclear energy is the whole nuclear plant requires lots of money. To put it simply, in order to run the factories as long as possible, it has to be frequently maintained which is
probihitive
Correct your spelling
prohibitive
probative
. Take Cau Dat in Vietnam as a prime example, most of the money was spent on protecting nuclear plants
although
 the nearby areas were poorly developed.
On the other hand
, the most obvious benefit of
this
 type of
power
 is its short-term impact on the environment,
however
, in an extended period of time, it will cause a buildup of nuclear waste. To clarify, even though it does not create exhaust gases, it still produces nuclear waste which requires storage for a long time to fully decay.
As a result
, these storages will eventually be at full capacity and can not hold the waste any longer resulting in a spillage that spoils the surrounding environment. In conclusion, the
probihitive
Correct your spelling
prohibitive
probative
 expensive cost and the radioactive effect greatly outweigh the advantage of the short-term safety.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay should provide a more balanced discussion by also highlighting the potential advantages of nuclear energy to give a comprehensive view. Adding more specific examples and details could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, make sure to link ideas more explicitly between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases can help improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to improve the overall quality of the essay. Some sentences need to be restructured for clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay successfully introduces the topic and provides a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
The negative aspects of nuclear energy are effectively discussed with specific examples, which helps to illustrate the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: