universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that academic institutions should balance the number of male and female
colleagues
equally in each major. The writer of
this
essay argues that it is not beneficial for
students
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
both
sexes
due to
different
vocation
Fix the agreement mistake
vocations
show examples
and equal
assessment
. It is easy to understand that each student has their own direction for attending academic courses related to their domains.
This
is because male
colleagues
tend to focus on scientific disciplines for breadwinning,
whereas
female ones prefer to sign up for social or artistic majors for homemaking,
both
of whom make up their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
on
the
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their
show examples
future occupation in order to receive a better vocation that
avoid
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avoids
show examples
being disrupted
throughour
Correct your spelling
throughout
the study process.
As a result
, the unequal numbers of
both
sexes
students
in every domain is inevitable
due to
displaying different proficiency and tendency.
For instance
, based on an American report in 2020, the vast majority of
students
attending Computer courses were males and its figures accounted for over 85% of whole
students
in each class.
Therefore
, it is not essential to equalize the number of
colleagues
for
both
sexes
in every discipline at the universities. Another point worth consideration is that there is an unequal
apporach
Correct your spelling
approach
in the academic
assessment
for
students
for
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of
show examples
both
sexes
enrolling
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in university's
show examples
university's
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university
show examples
courses.
Due to
the fact that when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational institutions arrange classes where males and females have equal quantity which leads to a circumstance is that these subjects demand
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
a higher rate of either male or female
colleagues
attending,
students
who are rejected by the university despite having better academic
achivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
than those who have different gender from them are accepted are extremely unfortunate as the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
students
related to
this
gender
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
adequate to equalize the balanced numbers
both
sexes
.
Consequently
, a great number of
colleagues
will receive unequal
assessment
in spite of absorbing the remaining knowledge. Taking all points into account, gaining different
direction
Fix the agreement mistake
directions
show examples
and maintaining
assessment
inequality are crucial factors
needing
Wrong verb form
that need
show examples
to be considered.
Hence
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic institutions do not need to sustain
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
quantity of male and female
students
in every discipline.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Work on clarifying your ideas. Some parts of your essay, particularly the second body paragraph, are difficult to follow due to complex sentence structures and occasional grammatical errors. Simplifying your language could help.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting points directly relate to that idea. This can help make your argument stronger and more coherent.
Task Achievement
Try to use more specific and varied examples to support your points. The example about the American report is good, but more of such examples would strengthen your essay.
Task Achievement
Pay attention to your grammar and sentence structure. Errors like "for homemaking," "vocation that avoid," and "unequal apporach" can detract from the clarity of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well. This helps in delivering a well-structured response.
Task Achievement
You address the topic directly and provide a clear stance, which demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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