Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To waht extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a common belief showing that the importance of
infrastructures
should be considered as a more beneficial investment rather than systems of Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
transports
for society. It should be Fix the agreement mistake
transport
this
statement that can negatively impact the whole communities
via pollution and a large amount of harmful gases released to the environment.
There is an opinion that should be measured that constructing roads and motorways Fix the agreement mistake
community
require
a lot of energy and Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
efforts
which are mainly used coals and unrenewable sources, Fix the agreement mistake
effort
besides
, investing more on
public vehicles could reduce gases, environmental problems and traffic issues simultaneously. Change preposition
in
This
is because they provide drivers more spaces
to move as these Fix the agreement mistake
space
type
of vehicles usually carry an immense number of people and Fix the agreement mistake
types
this
will also
mitigate the number of private cars so there will be an increase in the purification of air. As a result
, there will be an improvement not only in health but also
their
experiences on Change preposition
in their
roads
.
Correct article usage
the roads
However
, there is no doubt that the infrastructure is not good enough to be looked up. There are still many fatal accidents relating to the qualities of streets and ways. Ho Chi Minh city
, Capitalize word
City
for example
, has many holes on
the Change preposition
in
street
which can lead to accidental catastrophes even though Fix the agreement mistake
streets
that
it is the most developed area in Vietnam. Correct word choice
apply
Consequently
, many citizens are unsatisfied with the general abilities of moving and transporting because the authorities are unconscious
Correct word choice
unaware
about
the importance of street qualities.
Another point Change preposition
of
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
also
be taken into consideration is that public transport systems do provide a mitigation in demolishing the maintenance of ways as they help them reduce weight and forces impacted directly on the connection of cement. This
will obviously paly
an imperative role in reconstructing the motorways.
Taking every Correct your spelling
play
points
into conclusion, each opinion has Change to a singular noun
point
their
own perks but there must be more importance Correct pronoun usage
its
in
the side of social transportation via its demotion in harmful gases, traffic problems Change preposition
on
as well as
money used on reconstruction.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and task effectively, but there are areas that need improvement to achieve a higher band score. Firstly, ensure that your arguments are fully developed and directly related to the topic statement. Aim to elaborate more on each point to make your response more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
There are instances where the essay lacks clarity and coherence. To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use clear and direct transitions between ideas to enhance the overall structure and flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, work on strengthening the main points in your body paragraphs. This can be achieved by providing clear and specific examples that directly support your arguments.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your stance, setting a clear context for the reader.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.