Many drinks and ready meals contain a lot of sugar, salt and other non healthy ingredients. Do you think governments should try and control this development? Give reasons for your answer.
Food
additives, including excessive amounts of salt and sugar, are meant to make the food
more attractive and tastier, yet it
Correct pronoun usage
they
becomes
unhealthy. Its frequent consumption causes different chronic diseases including metabolic disorders, pancreatitis, blood pressure problems, and Correct subject-verb agreement
become
food
allergies. As the government
is partly responsible for the health of the nation, it may take control over the food
producers on the ingredients they use in food
. By fining those companies which use monosodium glutamate (E621), and other dangerous food
additives in high concentrations, the government
may force the others to follow a healthier approach to food
preparation.
As not only the government
is responsible for what people eat, but people themselves as well; it is therefore
the role of the government
to ensure people know how they should choose products. Governmentally funded educational programs, which can be conducted nationwide (in schools, universities, and workplaces), will increase the consumers’ awareness of balanced nutrition and its principles. All citizens need to know the information about the amount of proteins, carbohydrates, and fats they can consume healthily. At the same time, information on the detrimental effect
of added sugars, sodium, and saturated fats will teach them to read the ingredients on Fix the agreement mistake
effects
packaging
and reduce, or even eliminate, these products from their daily ration.
The role of the Correct article usage
the packaging
government
includes maintaining the health of the population they are living with, that
is why complex measures are to be taken to both control the Correct pronoun usage
which
food producing
companies and improve the people’s awareness of making healthy Add a hyphen
food-producing
food
choices. With all these done at once, the demand on
healthier Change preposition
for
food
will grow, and the companies will more
likely to resort to the reduction of Add a missing verb
be more
food
additives they use now.Submitted by mr.jailybaev on
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introduction conclusion present
Consider adding a more defined introduction and conclusion. This will help to frame your essay better and ensure clarity on your stance. For example, start by briefly mentioning the problem of unhealthy additives and conclude by reiterating the importance of government intervention and public awareness.
relevant specific examples
Try to use more specific examples or data to support your points. For instance, mention statistics or studies that highlight the connection between excessive additives and health issues. This will strengthen your argument and provide concrete evidence for your claims.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that your points are clearly linked. For example, transitional phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand,' can be helpful in guiding your reader through your argument.
complete response
The essay comprehensively addresses the task, proposing both government regulation and education as solutions.
clear comprehensive ideas
The arguments are clear and relevant, with a strong focus on the role of government and the importance of public awareness in making healthy food choices.
supported main points
The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument. This includes points about regulatory measures and educational initiatives, making the structure easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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