People nowadays prefer to interact online (e.g. do shopping, chat with friends) rather than talking to other people face-to-face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Recent commentators suppose that distance activities are now becoming more prevalent than interacting in person.
This
trend is
due to
the accessibility, convenience and
the
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diversity in various aspects of life. Despite these merits, many still raise concerns about how users are afflicted by possible threats
such
as self-isolation and health problems. Admittedly, communicating via online platforms allows individuals to connect with people around the world.
This
helps promote a more extensive relationship network with those who share the same interests despite the geographical distance, making everyone willing to make new friends worldwide. At the same time, shopping online
also
offers shoppers a variety of choices consisting of diverse designs
as well as
published prices,
thus
cautiously considering uploaded-related information and previous feedback before ordering something.
Moreover
, activities operated in
this
way do not require much commuting or even supply a wide range of utilities that progress socio-economic value and connectivity regardless of long distances.
Conversely
, the downsides of
this
phenomenon can not be overlooked. Interacting through cyberspace may accidentally contribute to one’s isolation from those around.
This
might be attributed to the magnificence of the virtual life, close bonds with online friends, associated with the hiding of their life issues that need tackling,
then
people engrossed in a make-believe world and continue to elude
the
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reality.
Consequently
, those who are stuck in
this
are likely to suffer from ailments,
such
as eye problems, physical infirmities, or mental health issues.
To sum up
,
this
essay assumes that the ability to connect with others is precious,
however
, not convincing enough to outweigh its demerits for users.
Therefore
, being able to balance both factors is truly crucial for anyone as for the recent standards of living and society.
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task achievement
You have addressed the task well by discussing both the reasons and the positive and negative aspects of online interactions. However, try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve further, try to make the transitions between ideas smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction that sets the context well.
task achievement
You have made relevant points and supported them with appropriate explanations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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