People nowadays prefer to interact online (e.g. do shopping, chat with friends) rather than talking to other people face-to-face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #e #g #chat #friends #development

Recent commentators suppose that distance activities are now becoming more prevalent than interacting in person.

This

trend is

due to

the accessibility, convenience and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

diversity in various aspects of life. Despite these merits, many still raise concerns about how users are afflicted by possible threats

such

as self-isolation and health problems. Admittedly, communicating via online platforms allows individuals to connect with people around the world.

This

helps promote a more extensive relationship network with those who share the same interests despite the geographical distance, making everyone willing to make new friends worldwide. At the same time, shopping online

also

offers shoppers a variety of choices consisting of diverse designs

as well as

published prices,

thus

cautiously considering uploaded-related information and previous feedback before ordering something.

Moreover

, activities operated in

this

way do not require much commuting or even supply a wide range of utilities that progress socio-economic value and connectivity regardless of long distances.

Conversely

, the downsides of

this

phenomenon can not be overlooked. Interacting through cyberspace may accidentally contribute to one’s isolation from those around.

This

might be attributed to the magnificence of the virtual life, close bonds with online friends, associated with the hiding of their life issues that need tackling,

then

people engrossed in a make-believe world and continue to elude

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reality.

Consequently

, those who are stuck in

this

are likely to suffer from ailments,

such

as eye problems, physical infirmities, or mental health issues.

To sum up

this

essay assumes that the ability to connect with others is precious,

however

, not convincing enough to outweigh its demerits for users.

Therefore

, being able to balance both factors is truly crucial for anyone as for the recent standards of living and society.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Sat Jul 13 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the task well by discussing both the reasons and the positive and negative aspects of online interactions. However, try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve further, try to make the transitions between ideas smoother.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction that sets the context well.

task achievement

You have made relevant points and supported them with appropriate explanations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

3.What key criteria does your target company use in their recruitment process?

People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less?