Developments in science and technology have caused environmental problems.Some people think that a simpler way of life will protect the environment,whileothers believe that science and technology can solve environmental problems.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Technologies and sciences play a significant role in the improvement of
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
pro
Add an article
a pro
the pro
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side who thinks that it is better to live as
simple
Change the word
simply
show examples
as it is to prevent bad things happen,
whereas
Linking Words
the con side
is stand
Wrong verb form
stands
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast area which
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
to carry out
theory basis
Replace the word
a theoretical
show examples
approach for solving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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points and the writer
also
Linking Words
has
it
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
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own perspective. Indeed, living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a simple life is much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier, yet it is not helping our world become sustainable.
For example
Linking Words
, in Indonesia,
people
Use synonyms
who usually go to their office by car to avoid high heat
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
will think it is easy and comfortable for them to enjoy the journey, rather than
people
Use synonyms
who go to their dedicated building to do their task responsibilities by public transportation. The latter actually doing the practical things of sustainability since he was reducing and
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
air pollution. Unfortunately, in fact,
people
Use synonyms
in the red and white flag country choose to use personal or
private public
Add a hyphen
private-public
show examples
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
which is the same as going to their destination by car.
In
Change preposition
To
show examples
some extent,
this
Linking Words
habit involves
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pollution. Though we know now that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
simple life will not
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
lessen the environmental effect,
thrive
Wrong verb form
thriving
show examples
with technological and
Use synonyms
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
show examples
is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
sensible to solve the issues. Implementing the mangrove planting with
biological
Correct article usage
the biological
show examples
science
Use synonyms
method,
for example
Linking Words
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is much more convincing to carry out rather than just trusting the local
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
way of planting a plant.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, As Mike Dean said in 1998, "
there
Capitalize word
There
show examples
are no
such
Linking Words
problems that cannot be solved",
therefore
Linking Words
, carry out
science
Use synonyms
and technology to overcome the ecosystem problems. In
writer's
Correct article usage
the writer's
show examples
opinion, approaching environmental problems through
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
comprehensive research with
Use synonyms
science basis
Replace the word
a scientific
show examples
and
techonology
Correct your spelling
technological
basis is an absolute way to develop its related area.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to
summary
Replace the word
summarise
show examples
all of the texts above, we cannot avoid sciences and technologies, they are there to support our
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
sustainibility
Correct your spelling
sustainability
.
Submitted by bram.admiral on

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Task Response
While the essay does respond to the task, further development of ideas and arguments is needed. Make sure to elaborate more on the key points stated in each paragraph to make the essay more compelling and comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
You showed a generally clear understanding of structure, but sequences and transitions between ideas could be more fluid. Work on making smoother transitions between sections and paragraphs.
Task Response
Include more specific examples and evidence to support the main points presented in your essay. Readers need concrete examples and illustrations to fully grasp your argument or idea.
Task Response
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, successfully setting up the essay and summarizing your viewpoint.
Task Response
You attempted to present both sides of the argument, which is crucial for this type of task. This balanced discussion adds depth to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a commendable effort in using topic-related vocabulary and expressions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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