In the present era, children are found to have fewer responsibilities than they used to in the past time. Some people consider it a positive development; however, some other people believe it to be a negative trend. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#era #children #responsibilities #time #people #development #trend

children nowadays have much

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

taskes

Correct your spelling

tasks

and

responsibility

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibilities

show examples

than kids in the past era, people splinted into

Correct your spelling

two

show examples

groups first group they see

that

Correct your spelling

show examples

a positive improved thing, and

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show examples

the other

side

Add a comma

side,

show examples

they see it in a negative way.

This

essay will

examined

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examine

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both

point

Change to a plural noun

points

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of view before stating any opinion.

Firstly

, some

men's

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men

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and

women's see

Change the verb form

women see

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

while

children having less

responsibility's

Change noun form

responsibility

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and

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

to do

Correct your spelling

show examples

a positive thing happened to the community. By kids having fewer

responsapilitys

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

older people will take

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

tasks and do everything for them most of the parents

agrees

Correct subject-verb agreement

agree

show examples

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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underage safety.

Moreover

letining

Correct your spelling

letting

young boys and girls focus on their education and give their best.

For example

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in a

show examples

statistic done in 1997 on two groups of students,

first

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the first

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group was

consintrating

Correct your spelling

concentrating

on school tasks only

while

the other group handed school work and other life missions and the result was undergraduates who just focused on their school subjects got higher grades.

On the other hand

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are people

oppose

Correct pronoun usage

who oppose

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

their opinion and believe that teenagers must have more responsibility and face reality from a younger age to have a significant base and strong character.

Furthermore

children's

Change noun form

children

show examples

who face conflicts and try to solve it him/her one will grow up with a

chalinging

Correct your spelling

challenging

and creative personality. To illustrate, most leaders and kings in

present

Correct article usage

the present

show examples

era faced a hard childhood and escaped from it and because of

that

Add a comma

that,

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they have a great attitude and a strong personality.

To sum up

, my perspective is to let kids face some issues and be used to take care of problems because being a

sucssefull

Correct your spelling

successful

person with a great character is much better than being a good student.

Submitted by sulaimanshabib5 on Tue May 28 2024

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grammar

Make sure to double-check grammar and spelling to avoid small mistakes that can affect clarity. For example, 'tasks' instead of 'taskes' and 'splinted' should be 'split'.

examples

Expand on examples and explanations more so that they fully support and elaborate on your main points. For instance, provide more details about how having fewer responsibilities affects children beyond just focusing on education.

transitions

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly from one idea to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.

introduction conclusion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in outlining your essay effectively.

complete response

You covered both perspectives on the issue, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

specific examples

Using statistical data from a study to support your point about educational focus was a good way to add credibility to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the present era, children are found to have fewer responsibilities than they used to in the past time. Some people consider it a positive development; however, some other people believe it to be a negative trend. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only governments actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Meat Production requires relatively more lands than crop production. Some people think as land is becoming scare, the world’s meat consumption should be reduced. What measures could be taken to reduce world’s meat consumption? What kind of problem such measures caused?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important the history. Discuss both those views and give your own opinion.