IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#life #cycle #honey #bee #report #university #lecturer #information #summarise #features #comparisons
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The diagram illustrates
honey
Correct article usage
the honey
show examples
bee
Use synonyms
's lifecycle from
Correct article usage
the eggs
show examples
eggs
Change the noun form
egg
show examples
 stage to
grown
Correct article usage
the grown
show examples
 female
bee
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that the
bee
Use synonyms
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 through 5 main
phase
Fix the agreement mistake
phases
show examples
 to become
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 adult female, which takes 34 -36
days
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bee
Use synonyms
 life
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 when a queen
bee
Use synonyms
 lays one or two eggs
evey
Correct your spelling
every
 three
days
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 to hatch after 9-10
days
Use synonyms
, within five
days
Use synonyms
 a baby
bee
Use synonyms
getout
Correct your spelling
gets
 from the egg and grows slightly bigger in the 7th day.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the nymph
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 a stage where it moults three times
while
Linking Words
 growing in 9
days
Use synonyms
, after that
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
 to become a young adult and
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 only takes
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
4
days
Use synonyms
 to turn into a mature female
bee
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by neamaabdo90 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bee, days with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life cycle
  • laying of eggs
  • queen bee
  • hatch into larvae
  • rapid growth
  • develop into pupae
  • significant transformation
  • emergence of the adult bee
  • matures fully
  • cyclical nature
  • colony’s survival
  • reproduction process
  • subsequent generations
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