In some countries, people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development?
In modern society, humans expend in
work
for a lot
of time
working. There are several reasons behind this
phenomenon and I believe that it has a lot
of negatives and positives for people
.
On the one hand, there are a lot
of reasons for this
trend
. Firstly
, people
who are breadwinners want to earn more money. In this
day and age, both the countryside and the city are increasing taxes and living costs so people
must spend more. In addition
, they have to take care of their family, therefore
they have a large financial burden. Secondly
, people
maintain their positivity or compete with colleagues, many people
feel pressured to work
hard and spend a lot
of time
on their job. Moreover
, the competition encourages employees to strive for higher positions; such
as working overtime, and doing more work
to get higher positions, thereby promoting career advancement.
On the other hand
, this
trend
also
has many negatives for people
who spend a lot
of time
doing work
. This
phenomenon is harmful to people
’s health, people
will always be in a state of fatigue and be less productive. Also
, relationships in their life become more deteriorated ,
and lose good relationships. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, it causes a loss of work
-life balance. They spend a lot
of time
, so they have less time
to care for their families. Besides
, there are also
many positives created by this
trend
. The Finances of the family will be increased, therefore
life’s they will be more stable. People
who work
hard will have career advancement. Furthermore
, work
is an environment for continuous learning, personal development, and expanding knowledge, such
as practical experience helping you to accumulate practical experience from that, improve, and practice skills.
In conclusion, people
tend to work
overtime because they want to earn more money and they have to compete at work
. As a result
, this
trend
will create positive and negative impacts.Submitted by anhpham.712688 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and includes a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to make your response even more comprehensive, consider elaborating further on each point with specific real-life examples or statistics.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, some sentences could be more logically connected to improve overall coherence. Using transition phrases can help guide the reader through your points more smoothly.
task achievement
You present clear reasons why people spend long hours at work, including financial burdens and workplace competition. This thorough approach to identifying the causes strengthens your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the essay topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and leaves a final thought. This structure helps the reader understand your argument.