The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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diagram above illustrates the process of
honey
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which is produced by
bees
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. As is observed from the diagram, there are seven stages in order to make
honey
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.
Bees
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are the main actors in
this
Linking Words
process. First of all, some
bees
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that are in
Use synonyms
hive
Correct article usage
a hive
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leave
from
Change preposition
apply
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their
hive
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and
they
Correct pronoun usage
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travel so as to find flowers.
Then
Linking Words
, they choose a flower which
give
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gives
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off a smell and land on it.
The
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In the
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next step, they
collact
Correct your spelling
collect
some
nectar
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from the flowers and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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come back
their
Change preposition
to their
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hive
Use synonyms
with
nectar
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. After
the
Remove the article
apply
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this
Linking Words
step, some of the
bees
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fill the cells inside the
hive
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with
nectar
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. When the cells are
fulled
Correct your spelling
filled
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with
nectar
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,
bees
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flap their wings and air is
occured
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occurring
in the
hive
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.
Then
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, water in the air evaporates in the
hive
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.
Thus
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,
honey
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production is completed. As the
last
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step, the
honey
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becomes ready with a view to packing.
Submitted by svdnruslu on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bees, hive, nectar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Metamorphosis
  • Nectar
  • Foraging
  • Pollination
  • Worker bees
  • House bees
  • Honey stomach
  • Honeycomb cells
  • Beeswax
  • Evaporation
  • Hexagon-shaped
  • Simple sugars
  • Enzymes
  • Capping
  • Preserve
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