IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You are living in a city in a foreign country, and a friend from your home country is soon coming to visit you for several days. Write an email to your friend, •asking him or her to bring some things from home which you need •saying why you need them •making arrangements to meet

#city #country #friend #home #visit #email #arrangements
Dear John How are you? It’s been a
while
, hasn’t it? The
last
 time must have been Sarah’s wedding. Anyway, I’m getting in touch because I’ve heard you are coming to Montreal in 10 days and you plan to stay for some days which is great! I’d be really grateful if you could bring a few things for me. My mother will bring them to you if you don’t mind.
First,
on my
last
 trip to Iran, I left my smartwatch at my sister’s house
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I really need it because I’m not allowed to use my phone at work but I can wear my smartwatch to notify if someone has an emergency task, and to be honest I can’t afford to buy a new one.
Second,
I need my blue skirt which I bought in Italy
last
 year and I am planning to wear
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 my
boyfriend
Change noun form
boyfriend's
show examples
 birthday party because I recently bought a beautiful shirt which goes with my blue skirt. I hope these are manageable for you, as they don’t take up much space in your suitcase. As you’ll be arriving on Sunday, I will pick you up from the airport and we could have lunch together. I can’t wait to see you
then
, All the best, Negar
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your email successfully addresses all the task requirements: requesting items, explaining why you need them, and making arrangements to meet. However, it could be strengthened by providing a bit more detail about how these items would help you.
coherence cohesion
While your email is coherent and logically structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion, consider using more cohesive devices (like consequently, moreover, etc.) to enhance the flow between your ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to maintain the friendly, conversational tone throughout the email, as you have done well. Also, try to add a few more sentences to make your specific needs and reasons even clearer.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-organized email with a clear greeting, body, and closing. This makes it easy for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Specific examples, like the smartwatch and blue skirt, make your email personal and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Your friendly tone and expression of excitement at seeing your friend are very engaging and appropriate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • anticipation
  • cultural artifacts
  • customs regulations
  • express excitement
  • luggage limitations
  • reciprocate
  • traditional spices
  • local snacks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: