IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where necessary.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where necessary.
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The bar chart compares the information of expenses regarding
France
Use synonyms
 and the
UK
Use synonyms
 on consumer products for 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, cars reserved the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of spending by the
UK
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 cameras and perfume,
France
Use synonyms
 and the
UK
Use synonyms
 spent little
amount
Use synonyms
 respectively .
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 used up more money for consumer goods than
France
Use synonyms
. In terms of
France
Use synonyms
, cars were highly demandable for the
habitants
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
show examples
, and they consumed exactly 4,00,000 pounds for it,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 was followed by the expenses of computers. Expenditure for books was 3,00,000 pounds,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 was twofold of
cameras'
Correct article usage
the cameras'
show examples
 expense, and for perfume, £ 2,00,000 was expended by the people of
France
Use synonyms
. In concern of
UK
Use synonyms
, the most significant segment of expenditure was cars, as the
expense
Replace the word
expenditure
show examples
 was approximately £ 4,50,000 and the consumed
amount
Use synonyms
 for
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 was around £50,000 less than
car's
Correct article usage
the car's
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the
expended money
Verb problem
expenditure
show examples
 on Cameras and Computers
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 nearly £3,50,000, the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of pounds
Change preposition
on
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 perfume was just below
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
£1,50,000.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk, amount with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 7 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • categories
  • compare
  • significant differences
  • trends
  • patterns
  • spending habits
  • similarities
  • findings
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