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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where necessary.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where necessary.
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods #information #features #comparison
The bar chart compares the information of expenses regarding
France
 and the
UK
 on consumer products for 2010.
Overall
, cars reserved the highest
amount
 of spending by the
UK
 and
France
,
while
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 cameras and perfume,
France
 and the
UK
 spent little
amount
 respectively .
Moreover
, the
UK
 used up more money for consumer goods than
France
. In terms of
France
, cars were highly demandable for the
habitants
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
show examples
, and they consumed exactly 4,00,000 pounds for it,
while
this
amount
 was followed by the expenses of computers. Expenditure for books was 3,00,000 pounds,
however
,
this
amount
 was twofold of
cameras'
Correct article usage
the cameras'
show examples
 expense, and for perfume, £ 2,00,000 was expended by the people of
France
. In concern of
UK
, the most significant segment of expenditure was cars, as the
expense
Replace the word
expenditure
show examples
 was approximately £ 4,50,000 and the consumed
amount
 for
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 was around £50,000 less than
car's
Correct article usage
the car's
show examples
amount
.
Although
 the
expended money
Verb problem
expenditure
show examples
 on Cameras and Computers
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 nearly £3,50,000, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of pounds
Change preposition
on
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 perfume was just below
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
£1,50,000.
Submitted by moulvibazarhexas on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk, amount with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 7 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • categories
  • compare
  • significant differences
  • trends
  • patterns
  • spending habits
  • similarities
  • findings
What to do next:
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