IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the charts show how tourism to Australia and Germany changes from 1960 to 2010

the charts show how tourism to Australia and Germany changes from 1960 to 2010
The supplied diagrams represent the changes in
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
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 industry of Australia and
Germany
Use synonyms
 between 1960 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, Asian input increased, and Britain’s input decreased in both countries over time, Europe represented a major decline. In 1960, the
most
Correct word choice
highest
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 number of visitors to both countries were from Europe, 53% and 45% respectively. People from Britain were the
runner ups
Add a hyphen
runner-ups
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 in Australia with a quarter of the proportion, which is exactly the same as the USA
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 in
Germany
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 1960
in
Change preposition
apply
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Germany
Use synonyms
 Britain's input was 20%,
however
Linking Words
, in 2010 there was a significant decline and the percentage decreased by 14%. Over the period, among foreign tourists to Australia, there was a considerable increase in Asian people from 10% to 63%.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
European's
Correct your spelling
Europe's
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 number decreased to 40% in
Germany
Use synonyms
, despite
this
Linking Words
, remained the top one.
Number
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A number
The number
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 of tourists from the USA in both countries stayed consistent and without any substantial fluctuations.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words germany with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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