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Band 5

Traffic on roads has become a problem in nearly every country in the world. What can be done to reduce the amount of traffic at a society level and at an individual level?

#traffic #roads #country #world #amount #society #level
Traffic
 on roads is one of the widely discussed issues in approximately every country in the world. It is undeniable that vehicles have become an essential part of people’s lives. In
this
, essay I will explore solutions to decrease the amount of
traffic
 at both societal and individual levels,
as well as
 examine factors contributing to its effects. One of the primary causes of
traffic
 congestion is the extensive use of cars. Today, companies manufacture large numbers of vehicles and
also
 individuals show interest
to purchase
Change preposition
in purchasing
show examples
 innovative transport.
As a result
, many families own at least two or three cars,
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
 it uplifts the amount of
traffic
 on roads. A clear example is nearly fifty years ago, there was not a chance to have so many cars for one head only the street had a tiny fraction of bikes.
However
, today every corner of the city
as well as
 town is always full of vans, buses and trucks. Another option could be the lack of public transportation use
such
 as
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
,
subway
Fix the agreement mistake
subways
show examples
 and
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
.
While
 private transport offers speed and comfort, public transportation can be beneficial in many ways namely the cost-effectiveness and health advantages.
Furthermore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has to create programs to reduce the amount of
traffic
 on roads by manufacturing eco-friendly and electric alternatives
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 transport.
For instance
,
“Eco”
Correct article usage
the “Eco”
show examples
 program like in Kazakhstan and
“Modern”
Correct article usage
the “Modern”
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 program like in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. Having
Correct your spelling
weighed
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weighted
Correct your spelling
weighed
show examples
 everything mentioned
Change preposition
apply
show examples
up
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apply
show examples
, we can come to
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 conclusion that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 cannot ban the use of
traffic
hence
 they need to implement programs to address
this
 issue.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence
Your essay provides a fairly well-organized exploration of the topic. However, make sure to consistently use paragraphs to separate different ideas and points.
introduction/conclusion
Try to enrich your conclusion by summarizing key points discussed in the body paragraphs and offering a final thought or recommendation.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure you clearly address both societal and individual-level solutions, as the current essay focuses mostly on societal solutions.
introduction/conclusion
Your introduction is effectively setting the stage for the discussion ahead and engages the reader right away.
supported main points
You provided relevant examples and logical reasons to support some of your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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