IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Modern buildings appear in large numbers, but some people believe that we should build our buildings in traditional styles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#buildings #numbers #people #styles
Although
 many
buildings
 are constructed
according to
 the latest style, other
people
 consider that these should be built in old styles. I think
people
 prefer to create infrastructures as per their convenience and budget. The predominant reason to support modern
buildings
 is the comfortable environment to live
.
Change preposition
in.
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 Since there is a drastic change in the ecosystem, it is difficult to acclimate to extreme temperature variations in summer
as well as
 in winter in
traditional style
Add a hyphen
traditional-style
show examples
buildings
.
However
, if
people
 build infrastructure with
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 facilities
such
 as air conditioners and heaters, they are more likely to live in a comfortable environment, thereby, improving their living standards.
Besides
 convenient surroundings created by modern
syles
Correct your spelling
styles
show examples
 of
buildings
, another compelling reason is the
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
 nature of these
buildings
. To justify,
people
 need not only more horizontal land but
also
 more material to build a
traditional style
Add a hyphen
traditional-style
show examples
 building
whereas
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of modern construction, they require less land and less material.
Hence
, it saves a large sum of money.
For example
, the total cost to build a traditional infrastructure is doubled as
comapred
Correct your spelling
compared
 to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 a modern one. In conclusion, owing to providing comfortable surroundings and being
budget friendly
Add a hyphen
budget-friendly
show examples
, I argue that
people
 should build modern
buildings
 as
comapred
Correct your spelling
compared
 to traditional ones.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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task achievement
Expand on the points made to provide a more thorough response. Currently, the essay presents good ideas but lacks depth in explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Currently, the ideas are clear but the flow can be enhanced for better coherence.
task achievement
Use more varied and complex sentence structures to improve clarity and make the essay more engaging. This will help in presenting the ideas in a more comprehensive manner.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to strengthen the arguments. This will add credibility to the points being made and provide a clearer justification for the views presented.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the arguments well.
coherence cohesion
The main points are relevant to the topic and are well-connected to the overall argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, making for a balanced discussion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural preservation
  • regional styles
  • aesthetic value
  • intricate craftsmanship
  • stood the test of time
  • incorporate new technologies
  • sustainable materials
  • environmentally friendly
  • space utilization
  • functional design
  • open floor plans
  • access to natural light
  • versatile spaces
  • blending traditional and modern styles
  • cultural heritage
  • contemporary advancements
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