In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?
There has been a rising number of
children
experiencing homeschooling Use synonyms
instead
of attending traditional schools. In my opinion, I strongly advocate that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks.
Nowadays, Linking Words
parents
prefer to teach their Use synonyms
children
at home in order to spend more quality Use synonyms
time
with their Use synonyms
offsprings
, Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
while
allowing the Linking Words
children
to study at their own Use synonyms
paces
. To illustrate, many researches have shown that young people having Fix the agreement mistake
pace
time
working Use synonyms
together with
their Linking Words
parents
from Use synonyms
very
young age would develop stronger and more stable mental health. Add an article
a very
Moreover
, by studying at home, Linking Words
parents
can understand the intellectual capacity of their Use synonyms
children
, Use synonyms
hence
setting the correct pace for them to achieve Linking Words
the
optimal results.
Correct article usage
apply
Nevertheless
, homeschoolers lack the experience of studying with friends, which could help them build the soft skills that are required for their future career endeavours. Linking Words
For instance
, students at schools will usually be involved in team projects, which enable them to learn how to work with one another. Linking Words
In addition
, the school projects Linking Words
also
help the students acquire Linking Words
time
management skills, Use synonyms
gaining
multitasking ability Wrong verb form
gain
as well as
Linking Words
dealing
with deadlines and pressure. Wrong verb form
deal
Moreover
, the Linking Words
homeschool
Replace the word
homeschooled
children
could not benefit from the infrastructure of ordinary schools, including libraries, laboratories or sporting facilities . In fact, it is the hands-on experience Use synonyms
achieving
through doing lab projects, or the practices on the running tracks that helps to build young people into all-rounded individuals ready for the workforce.
In conclusion, it is my strongly held belief that homeschooling, Wrong verb form
achieved
although
having the benefits of allowing bonding Linking Words
time
for Use synonyms
parents
and Use synonyms
children
, is not an advantageous choice for Use synonyms
children
to develop and be ready for Use synonyms
the
future jobs.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by kimtruong270192 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of the essay. Some transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow.
task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the prompt, try to deepen the analysis of both advantages and disadvantages for a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph centers on a single main idea and that all points directly support this idea. This will improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing the discussion well.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples strengthens the arguments made, making the essay more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay adequately covers both the benefits and drawbacks of homeschooling, providing a holistic view.