IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to new Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to new Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitor #visitors #zealand #countries #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graphs
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the annual expenditures of 5 different countries spending on traveling to New Zealand every 2 years
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1996 to 2014 The general overview is that Australia spent the highest amount,
Change preposition
on excursion
show examples
excursion
Fix the agreement mistake
excursions
show examples
 to New Zealand through the period.
While
 China took the 5th place, spending
money
 in the records.
According to
 the graph, it can be seen that
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 expenditure started from just over 1000
NZS
 in 1996 and had upward trends till reached its peak at approximately 2400
NZS
 in 2006. After that,
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 visitors spent less
money
, causing
Correct article usage
a decreased
show examples
decreased
Change the form of the verb
decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
money
 with
figure
Add an article
a figure
show examples
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 2000
NZS
 in 2014. Moving on to the USA tourists,
also
 had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 gradually rising trend, reaching its highest point at 1700 NSZ and dramatically
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
 in the following year till 2014 at 1200 NSZ.
Additionally
, The UK and Japan had an equal amount of
money
 in the first year at just under 500 NSZ and
then
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
surpassed Japan in 2008 and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 up with 800
NZS
 and 500
NZS
 respectively.
Finally
, China,
Increasing
Wrong verb form
Increased
show examples
 from 10
NZS
 and after
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
along
Change preposition
apply
show examples
through the period, China had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 on visiting New Zealand for 300
NZS
.
Submitted by pnakasont on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words money, nzs with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: