IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There are a growing demand for fresh water nowadays and this is becoming a global problem. What are the causes and solutions.

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In recent days, there
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 an increasing request for clean
water
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 issue is becoming more controversial around the globe. Shortage of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 can decimate a lot of humans in the world. From my point of view, the most contributing factors to
this
Linking Words
 problem are
through
Correct article usage
the through
show examples
 of rubbish into the
water
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 toxic oil and we should set off penalties for
through
Correct article usage
the through
show examples
 of garbage into the
water
Use synonyms
together with
Linking Words
 sending people to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jail who shed petrol into the
water
Use synonyms
. Chief among the causes of
this
Linking Words
 problem is the trash. The waste contains plastic packaging, glass bottles, cans,
peels
Correct word choice
and peels
show examples
 and individuals are not able to drink
this
Linking Words
 liquid.
For instance
Linking Words
, they include nitrogen oxides that can kill
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people. Another important reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is venomous petroleum which
mix
Change the verb form
mixes
show examples
 with
water
Use synonyms
 sources and
pollute
Change the verb form
pollutes
show examples
 them.
Because fuel
Correct word choice
Fuel
show examples
 includes
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of dangerous chemical components
such
Linking Words
 as hydrogen and carbon,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 these chemicals are not recommended
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
. In order to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue, I deem that its root causes should be first addressed. Perhaps the most effective method of doing
this
Linking Words
 would be setting punishments for polluting the
water
Use synonyms
 sources. When mortals pollute the potable
water
Use synonyms
, they do the punishment,
then
Linking Words
 they will stop doing that. One
further
Linking Words
 measure can be locking individuals up
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 pour the petrol into the drinkable
water
Use synonyms
 sources. There, they can think about their mistakes and do not
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
Linking Words
this mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
these mistakes
show examples
 again. By way of conclusion, I reckon that lack of drinking
water
Use synonyms
 is clearly
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
 of
such
Linking Words
 complexity that no solution
likely
Add a missing verb
is likely
show examples
 in the short term. I believe that setting off severe punishments and locking humans up who
pollutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pollute
show examples
 the clear
water
Use synonyms
 would
be constitute
Change the verb form
constitute
show examples
 a very good first step.

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coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and complexity to enhance the overall readability of your essay. Some sentences can be merged or rephrased to avoid repetition and improve flow.
task achievement
Explain your solutions with more detailed examples to provide stronger support for your main points. This will help to reinforce your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Pay attention to certain grammatical mistakes and phrasing issues, such as 'through of rubbish' should be 'throwing rubbish' and 'set off penalties' should be 'impose penalties'. Those small changes will improve clarity and correctness.
introduction conclusion present
Your introductory paragraph outlines the problem and presents your viewpoint clearly. Good job in setting the stage for your discussion.
complete response
You have identified and addressed both causes and solutions for the problem of water scarcity, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the task.
introduction conclusion present
The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes your stance and suggests actionable solutions. This gives a sense of closure to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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