Some people think that young people playing electronic and computer games is helpful while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays, many individuals argue that playing some video or online
games
on the computer
has a positive influence on youngster's
studies, Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters'
while
on the other side
Add a comma
side,
people
trust that the time
which we spend on them is wasted. After considering both of the statements in this
notion, from my perspective, it is more beneficial for young people
to gain vastly flexible skills and keep in touch with others with the former notion
To begin
with, it is paramount for the future of youngster's careers. The subsistence of online games
is a way to facilitate reflection and get the hang of success. This
is because online games
are like a large network for anybody to combat and we can't know who is the next enemy, so we should have flexible skills to cope with others. Therefore
, it is easy to understand why young people
should play computer
games
for their development of study and career.
However
, the opponents of this
idea argue that these electronic sites bring people
apply
a negative way to improve Verb problem
apply
your
health and have repercussions Correct pronoun usage
their
such
as eye degradation when we Just sit in front of the computer
for a long time
for
this
reason, it will be easier for teenagers
to lead sedentary lifestyles and unbalanced habit which is very harmful to your mind and body when we choose to play video games
with the large of time
This
pant may be true, but the ubiquitous game sites allow us to talk to anyone about anything which sometimes opens up amazing opportunities and fosters a sense of community.
This
writer believes that the usefulness of computer
games
helps teenagers
to improve their space of relationships and reduce the stress in their minds. This
is due to
the fact that,
every career and development will be kept open if we use it with a reasonable amount of Remove the comma
apply
time
in a day. Because of this
, teenagers
can put all their faith in those whom they know how to use correctly
In conclusion, having considered both sides of the argument, I am fully convinced that the effect of some game platforms over these disadvantages and I believe that everything will develop to support teenagers
more and more in the future ,even though we play computer
games
or online games
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task achievement
Your essay needs a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Clearly state what your opinion is and what the main points of your essay will be.
coherence cohesion
You should structure your essay more logically by starting with a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more easily.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will help to make your arguments more convincing and show that you have fully understood the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on your paragraphing. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and develops it fully before moving onto the next point.
task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the argument effectively, showing a balanced view before stating your opinion.
task achievement
You make a good attempt to discuss the benefits and drawbacks of playing computer games for young people.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear effort to conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.