Nowadays, more and more children play computer games. Why do you think this is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#children #computer #games #case #development

Nowadays, in a world where technology each year gains more attention, the number of children playing video

games

significantly rises too.

This

is because

games

provide children

Add the preposition

with an

show examples

escape and an opportunity to relax,

however

, I believe

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

negatively

impacts

Correct subject-verb agreement

impact

show examples

youngsters' lives by contributing to the growth in their procrastination which leads to possible degradation. Many teenagers choose to spend their days playing video

games

because of what they offer: an escape.

Games

are capable of immersing a player in the plot for days, or months even,

therefore

, a lot of people prefer a virtual world, rather than a real one.

This

way people can actively avoid all outside obligations, and worries, and lead a completely different life.

According to

research, that was done among gamers, these days, there is an increasing number of cases where active players lose touch with reality,

furthermore

, they are ready to spend all their savings on virtual purchases.

However

, I think computer

games

are a danger to society

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

can bring a person to degradation.

While

some people can balance between their life and time spent playing, others find it challenging and in the end, prefer to engage in the latter more.

Following

this

, the level of procrastination starts to rise and other matters outside a virtual reality lose their significance, which affects a person's intelligence capabilities.

For instance

, nowadays many teenagers prefer to stay up all night playing computer

games

, and

as a result

, the next morning they struggle to comprehend any material during school hours.

Consequently

, they later can not complete their homework because of the lack of sleep which deprives them

to understand

Change preposition

of understanding

show examples

the material that was taught in school. In conclusion, a lot of children prefer engaging in computer

games

because they offer a reprieve from the world and relax them,

however

, I disagree that it can not negatively influence one's lifestyle, being as the person has a risk of losing touch with reality and the abilities to think rationally.

Submitted by katenok200312 on Wed May 29 2024

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task response

Your essay provides a clear response to the task and adequately addresses the questions posed. However, further development of some ideas and examples could strengthen your argument and provide a more balanced perspective.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to the logical flow between paragraphs. While each paragraph is clear and well-structured, the transition between ideas can be smoother to enhance overall coherence. Consider using more linking words and phrases to improve flow.

organization

The introduction and conclusion are appropriately structured and align well with the task. They clearly present the topic and provide a summarizing closure.

task response

Your main points are well-supported and relevant examples are provided, which help illustrate your arguments effectively.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, more and more children play computer games. Why do you think this is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact to society?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.

Young people in wealthy countries often take a 'gap year' between high school and university in order to spend time travelling abroad. This is an excellent way for teenagers to prepare for their future lives. To what extent do you agree with the statement?

Today, advanced science and technology have made great changes to people’s life, but artists are still valued high such as musicians, painters and writers.What can the arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars?