Nowadays, more and more children play computer games. Why do you think this is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, in a world where technology each year gains more attention, the number of children playing video

games

Use synonyms

significantly rises too.

This

Linking Words

is because

games

Use synonyms

provide children

Add the preposition

with an

show examples

escape and an opportunity to relax,

however

Linking Words

, I believe

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

negatively

impacts

Correct subject-verb agreement

impact

show examples

youngsters' lives by contributing to the growth in their procrastination which leads to possible degradation. Many teenagers choose to spend their days playing video

games

Use synonyms

because of what they offer: an escape.

Games

Use synonyms

are capable of immersing a player in the plot for days, or months even,

therefore

Linking Words

, a lot of people prefer a virtual world, rather than a real one.

This

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way people can actively avoid all outside obligations, and worries, and lead a completely different life.

According to

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research, that was done among gamers, these days, there is an increasing number of cases where active players lose touch with reality,

furthermore

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, they are ready to spend all their savings on virtual purchases.

However

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, I think computer

games

Use synonyms

are a danger to society

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

can bring a person to degradation.

While

Linking Words

some people can balance between their life and time spent playing, others find it challenging and in the end, prefer to engage in the latter more.

Following

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this

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, the level of procrastination starts to rise and other matters outside a virtual reality lose their significance, which affects a person's intelligence capabilities.

For instance

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, nowadays many teenagers prefer to stay up all night playing computer

games

Use synonyms

, and

as a result

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, the next morning they struggle to comprehend any material during school hours.

Consequently

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, they later can not complete their homework because of the lack of sleep which deprives them

to understand

Change preposition

of understanding

show examples

the material that was taught in school. In conclusion, a lot of children prefer engaging in computer

games

Use synonyms

because they offer a reprieve from the world and relax them,

however

Linking Words

, I disagree that it can not negatively influence one's lifestyle, being as the person has a risk of losing touch with reality and the abilities to think rationally.

katenok200312

May 29, 2024

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task response

Your essay provides a clear response to the task and adequately addresses the questions posed. However, further development of some ideas and examples could strengthen your argument and provide a more balanced perspective.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to the logical flow between paragraphs. While each paragraph is clear and well-structured, the transition between ideas can be smoother to enhance overall coherence. Consider using more linking words and phrases to improve flow.

organization

The introduction and conclusion are appropriately structured and align well with the task. They clearly present the topic and provide a summarizing closure.

task response

Your main points are well-supported and relevant examples are provided, which help illustrate your arguments effectively.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reasons for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this. What are some possible solutions

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this.