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Writing Samples
Band 5

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, there are fewer
people
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 writing by hand.
This
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 writer argues that there are important reasons that are related to the improvement of technology, and in my
viewpoint
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viewpoint,
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 these have been largely negative trends as it prevents the development of children when they just started to know writing. It cannot be denied that the evolution of technology in recent years has helped
people
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 in many ways. One of the benefits of mechanization is
upgraded
Correct article usage
the upgraded
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 writing abilities of humans. With new features and
its
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apply
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mechanisms that are easy to understand,
people
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 can apprehend it well and make their work more convenient. They will be more flexible in using their fingers to
typing
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type
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 and import information faster than using paper to write it down.
Moreover
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,
people
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 can save their process for
another days
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another day
other days
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 to do more extra
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 and
also
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 prevent losing their work by accident.
For example
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,
people
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 who work as accountants nowadays
are feeling
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feel
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 more comfortable when they deal with complex data than before as they use paper and handwriting to note the data and sometimes mistakes are inevitable.
However
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, there is another argument that should be considered is that typing on a computer can affect children's improvement.
In other words
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, if they expose themselves to computers too early, they will not know how to write and understand basic letters, as it just shows them the symbols but cannot explain
it
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them
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 and will make they feel hard for them to study alphabetical characters.
Consequently
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, they will become illiterate and seems that they will take a long time to regain their ability.
Moreover
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,
people
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 will lose their traditional skills and practices when they rely too much on computer typing.
To sum up
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, there are more negative influences than positive
in
Correct pronoun usage
ones in
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 the long run, as the benefits are too tiny with the drawbacks.
However
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, we should consider
about
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apply
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typewriting
as
Correct word choice
and
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 its potential
affect
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effect
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to
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on
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 humans nowadays.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both the reasons for the decline in handwriting and evaluating whether this trend is positive or negative. However, you need to provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points further to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the logical structure could be improved. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your main argument and transitions smoothly to the next point.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively. For example, you can expand on how exactly technology affects handwriting skills in children and provide additional examples or studies to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the context well for the discussion, and your conclusion succinctly wraps up your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the task — discussing the reasons for the decline in handwriting and evaluating the impact of this trend.
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