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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

People should be at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #years #drive #car
Whether or not, to permit individuals to have a
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
 license in their twenties or not is a contentious issue.
This
 writer argues that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 need to give residents permission to drive a car
due to
 their great responsibility, despite the necessity of driving. It is vital to understand that
people
 who are above 21 years old exhibit greater maturity to be responsible for their faults.
This
 is because
at
Add the comma(s)
, at
show examples
this
 age, individuals tend to experience many life challenges which contribute to better decision-making.
Therefore
,
people
 are less likely to engage in reckless behaviour
such
 as speeding or driving under control.
As a result
, avoiding risks and reducing accidents on the roads.
However
, some suggest that having
Correct article usage
a driver
show examples
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
 license lately can affect badly on work and education which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 essential for daily life. Simply put,
people
 need to move to their working office or school in order to finish their regular
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
.
Consequently
, delaying
this
 privilege could hinder their ability to access opportunities and
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 daily
respondsibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
,
thus
, not only preventing
people
 from success but
also
 making daily life
inconvienient
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
. In conclusion, being able to be accountable for mistakes
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a valid point why young adults should be allowed to own a car, regardless of the essential requirement of driving to work and educational facilities.
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, you could use statistical data or real-life incidents.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency and accuracy in your language. For example, use 'on the other hand' instead of 'however' when presenting opposing views.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Consider using more transitional phrases to better link your ideas together.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.
task achievement
The main points are adequately supported and elaborated, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • mature decisions
  • biological maturity
  • fully developed brain
  • judgment
  • impulse control
  • accident statistics
  • inexperience
  • risk-taking behavior
  • insurance premiums
  • public transportation
  • environmentally beneficial
  • traffic congestion
  • early independence
  • learning curve
  • experience
  • overall driving skills
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