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Writing Samples /
Band 4

some believe that the development of technology and improved software allow us to translate between languages automatically. Therefore, it is not necessary to learn foreign languages anymore. Do you agree or disagree

#believe #development #technology #software #languages
When it comes to
language
, it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 unnecessary
due to
 the approach of high-tech
solfware
Correct your spelling
software
. The writer of
this
 essay totally disagrees with
this
 notion because learning
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 will enlarge job opportunities
as well as
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
 global
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 through communication. It is undeniable that owning
language
 is a key to
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
 for good jobs.
That is
 to say, almost
famous
Correct determiner usage
all famous
show examples
 companies cooperate with
oversea business
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas businesses
show examples
,
therefore
, if the workers own the
language
, they will have more chances to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs
due to
 the ability
of working
Replace the preposition
to work
show examples
 with foreigners.
In other words
, companies
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
show examples
 to recruit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees who have learnt
language
Add an article
the language
show examples
 because they are more valuable than others.
As a result
, even though studying
language
 is a difficult task for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people, it will earn a lot of benefits. It is understood that
language
 is a communicative
tools
Change the noun form
tool
show examples
 for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. To put it simply, as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
globalisation, almost
nations
Correct determiner usage
all nations
show examples
 are utilizing foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 to communicate, especially English, so it will be easier to socialize with others by
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
.
However
, the improved
solfware
Correct your spelling
software
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
a supporting devices
Correct the article-noun agreement
supporting devices
a supporting device
show examples
 which unable to replace
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of studying
language
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
.
Thus
, the value of
language
 is unchanged
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
, so the more
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 people put
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 learning
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
, the more benefits they will gain. In conclusion, nothing can change the crucial role of
language
due to
 its benefits of widening opportunities for
apply
Change the verb form
applying
show examples
 to good jobs
along with
 connecting different people by communication.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. For instance, 'It is undeniable that owning language is a key to apply for good jobs' can be revised to 'It is undeniable that knowing a foreign language is key to applying for good jobs.'
content
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific industries or job roles where knowing a foreign language is particularly beneficial.
content
Avoid repetition and redundancy. For instance, phrases such as 'the improved software just a supporting devices which unable to replace importance of studying language' can be made more concise.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing your main points, which helps in maintaining coherence.
content
The argument that learning languages enhances job opportunities and social connections is well-founded.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Enhanced communication
  • Nuances
  • Cultural context
  • Emotional depth
  • Cognitive skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Critical thinking
  • Multitasking
  • Employment opportunities
  • International career
  • Cultural understanding
  • Immersive experience
  • Error margins
  • Idiomatic expressions
  • Colloquialisms
  • Technological dependence
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