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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #three #areas #european #country #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph depicts how many travellers
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 three different kinds of European areas
20
Change preposition
in 20
show examples
year-period
Correct your spelling
period
show examples
, starting from 1987 to 2007.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 two lines of the mountains and the
coast
 witnessed an upward pattern,
while
 a line of the lakes
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 to its peak, and
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 sharply. The highest
number
 of
tourists
 belonged to the
coast
,
while
 the lowest
number
 of
visitors
 was possessed by the lakes. If we look at
line
Correct article usage
the line
show examples
 graph in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, we can see that the
coast
firstly
 was
popular
Add an article
a popular
show examples
 destination for overseas
tourists
, and 40,000
tourists
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 that place for relaxation in 1987.
However
, during
five-year
Add an article
the five-year
a five-year
show examples
 period, between 1988 and 1992,
this
 area had a slight reduction to approximately 35,000
people
.
Although
Change preposition
Despite
show examples
 a decline, the
coast
 reached its peak
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 growing considerably to around 75,000
visitors
 in the
last
 year, 2007. The mountains belonged to 20,000
tourists
 in the beginning, and
then
 it experienced a slight growth to 30,000
people
 in 1997. After that, it had a period of stability until 2002,
then
 it increased minimally to around 35,000
visitors
 in 2007. We can see that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the minority of
people
 chose the lakes for recreation, at 10,000
people
.
However
,
thw
Correct your spelling
the
 multitude of
people
 revealed their fascination
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 that field, and the
number
 of
visitors
 rose enormously to 40,000
people
 in 1997.
Following
this
, again the
number
 of
people
 visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
 area, and
this
 place accepted approximately 75,000
tourists
 in 2002. Unfortunately,
then
 the
number
 of
visitors
 reduced moderately to 50,000
people
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end,
2007
Change preposition
of 2007
show examples
.
Submitted by muxtasar1004 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coast, number, tourists, visitors, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuations
  • steady growth
  • decline
  • popular destination
  • significant changes
  • peak
  • trough
  • speculate
  • geopolitical events
  • attractiveness
  • positive outlook
  • challenges
  • tourism industry
  • overseas visitors
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