IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The plans show the change of a small theater in 2010 and 2012.

#plans #show #change #theater
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The plans illustrate how much a particular
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 has changed between 2010 and 2012. It seems that the
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
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 was expanded sideways to incorporate more facilities.
Overall
Linking Words
, a number of changes took place all over the layout of the building, with some existing features being converted and relocated in the process. The only exception was the central part, which remained relatively unchanged. In 2010, the
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 could be accessed from the main entrance to the South, through which a cafe could be spotted in the right corner. Opposite the cafe lay a ticket
office
Use synonyms
 and
administration
Correct article usage
an administration
show examples
office
Use synonyms
 to the other side. In the next 2 years,
however
Linking Words
, the ticket
office
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 was relocated to the bottom right corner where the cafe had been,
while
Linking Words
 the administration
office
Use synonyms
 was moved to the back.
This
Linking Words
 was to make way for a new restaurant area in the left rear corner. The auditorium in the middle saw no change whatsoever,
although
Linking Words
 the stage in front had been nearly doubled in size, with the addition of a side hall behind it. The old media room and storage room had been moved to the top left and right side respectively, both of which could now be accessed from the new hallway.
Finally
Linking Words
, a new
showers
Change the noun form
shower
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 area was built next to the media room.
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task response
Your task response is strong, providing a complete and clear description of the changes to the theater. However, consider adding a brief summary in the conclusion to encapsulate the main changes for even better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your coherence and cohesion are well-handled, with a logical flow and clear structure. Using linking words or phrases to connect your points even more smoothly could elevate your score.
task response
The essay provides relevant and specific examples about the changes in the theater.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. Main points are supported effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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