today, the high sales of popular consumer goals reflect the power of advertising, and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. to what extent do you agree or disagree give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples for onw knowledge or experence.
These days there are technological advances developed from the most simple household item to a more complex device to make life easier for us and
therefore
saving
more Wrong verb form
save
valued
time. Replace the word
valuable
However
, we are being
surrounded by advertising that Unnecessary verb
apply
encourage
us to keep buying these Change the verb form
encourages
products
, even when in comparission
with our life without them is not really Correct your spelling
comparison
diferent
. In Correct your spelling
different
this
essay
I shall explain perspective by analyzing each statement.
It is important, Add a comma
essay,
first,
to distinguish that artifacts
are created every day, generating acquisition habits. As we can see, Change the spelling
artefacts
products
of daily use such
as home upgrates
or car Correct your spelling
upgrades
accesories
, Correct your spelling
accessories
for example
, only produce comfort when using them, that is
not the same as if our most important activities depend on
, making their use essential. Unfortunately, marketing does exaggerated abuse by promoting Correct pronoun usage
on them
products
on television in commercials, inciting the purchase of those products
that gives
us a Change the verb form
give
feel good
sensation Add a hyphen
feel-good
instead
of a true help.
In addition
, another factor to mention is that in
the world around us, is currently influenced by advertisements that we see everywhere, Change preposition
apply
for instance
on the street, on social media or listenning
Correct your spelling
listening
a
podcastChange preposition
to a
too
, promoting new Rephrase
apply
products
that are just in trend, which also
believe creates an
habit of recurringly get Change the article
a
products
of unnecessary value for us, said in other words
, things that are not important. For example
, organizers for the fridge are not necessary, whereas
refrigerators have their own drawers. That is
why I firmly believe that the high sales of each product reflect the power of advertising and trends.
In conclusion, I believe that the community can make its own decisions when purchasing products
, but the environment that surrounds us is frequently promoting products
, from my perspective is that the power of communication is powerful and can influence society.Submitted by dannyrrng33 on
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language
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and word choice. There are several minor errors in spelling and word choice (e.g., 'comparission' should be 'comparison', 'diferent' should be 'different', 'artifacts' should be 'items' or 'products', 'recurringly' should be 'recurrently').
task response
Focus on developing more specific examples to support your points. The examples provided are somewhat generic and could be more concretely tied to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point and link your ideas more smoothly to improve coherence. For instance, you jumped from discussing technological advances to advertisement influence, which could be more smoothly transitioned.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly identifiable and serve their purposes well.
task achievement
You provide a clear stance and attempt to analyze the issue from multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure, with clear paragraphs, helps in understanding the flow of your argument.