It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
There is a long-term belief that
school
should provide deeper lessons about national Fix the agreement mistake
schools
history
rather than foreign one
. The writer of Correct pronoun usage
ones
this
essay totally agrees with that notion since this
can promote
advance Verb problem
apply
students
's sense of patriotism alongside promoting national
image
When it comes to learning local Correct article usage
the national
history
, there is no doubt about its role in shaping children's love for their nation . To explain further
, if students
are encouraged to learn history
of their own Add an article
the history
country
, it is more likely that these learners will have a much Correct your spelling
deeper
depper
perspective about their origin , particularly how their ancestors had made effort to not only construct civilization but Correct your spelling
deeper
also
protect it from several invasions of other enemies in order to maintain the independence of country
. Add an article
the country
Therefore
, this
undoubtedly promotes sense
of pride Add an article
a sense
of
these Change preposition
in
students
, making them ready to appreciate and contribute to developing their nation . Taking Vietnam as a specific example , the history
of a
long-term resistance to gain the independence of nationals in Remove the article
apply
this
country
has been taught and emphasized throughout the action of priortizing
Correct your spelling
prioritizing
history
in educations
which leads to young generations becoming aware of their root .
Another core reason which should be mentioned is how Fix the agreement mistake
education
this
will also
promote the national image . That is
to say , in the globalisation context , it is undeniable that if new generations are transmitted knowledge about their country
, especially cultural values throughout
more Change preposition
through
history
classes , they can share these to
foreign friends Change preposition
with
over
the world which will Rephrase
all over
disseminates
good images of their nation . Change the verb form
disseminate
Thus
, it is more likely that people living in other countries will have a friendly looking
at Replace the word
look
one's
Correct your spelling
their
country
,Correct word choice
and
being
willing to form a long-term relationship.
In conclusion , Wrong verb form
be
due to
the benefits of allowing students
to be aware of their roots and promoting national image as well , there is no denying about
the fact that it would be much better to teach Change preposition
apply
students
about national history
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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Grammar and Spelling
Consider proofreading your essay for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity. For example, 'depper' should be 'deeper'.
Writing Technique
Work on sentence variety to make your writing more engaging. Mixing short and long sentences can improve the readability.
Vocabulary Usage
Avoid using repetitive phrases. Instead of saying 'promotes the national image' twice, use synonyms to keep your writing fresh.
Content Development
While the main idea is clear, try to provide more specific examples and illustrations to further clarify your points.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction clearly states your stance, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
Examples
The essay includes appropriate examples to support your main points, particularly the example involving Vietnam.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?