IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below represents the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The bar chart shows how these causes affected three regions of the world in the 1990s. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The pie chart below represents the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The bar chart shows how these causes affected three regions of the world in the 1990s. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#land #bar #three #regions #world #summarise #data #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The presented graphs illustrate the primary causes of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 globally and provide statistics on the proportion of these causes in North America,
Europe
Use synonyms
, and
Oceania
Use synonyms
. The pie chart reveals that the factors contributing to
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 are threefold. The most significant cause is over-grazing, accounting for 35% of the total
degradation
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is closely followed by deforestation at 30%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 at 28%. Together, these three causes represent 93% of the total, with the remaining 7% attributed to other factors. The accompanying table shows the percentage of degraded
land
Use synonyms
 in three regions.
Europe
Use synonyms
 has the highest percentage of degraded
land
Use synonyms
 at 23%, followed by
Oceania
Use synonyms
 at 13%. In
Europe
Use synonyms
, the high level of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 is primarily
due to
Linking Words
 deforestation (9.8%) and
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 (7.7%). In
Oceania
Use synonyms
, over-grazing is the dominant cause, with a strikingly high rate of 11.3%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, North America has a total
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 of 5%, which is mainly
due to
Linking Words
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 (3.3%).
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that deforestation in
Europe
Use synonyms
 and over-grazing in
Oceania
Use synonyms
 are the principal reasons for
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in North America, the primary issue is
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to, in contrast".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation, europe, oceania, over-cultivation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: