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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the main reasons for study among students of different age group.

The chart below shows the main reasons for study among students of different age group.
#study #students #age #group
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The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of
target
Fix the agreement mistake
targets
show examples
 that motivate
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
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 different
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 noticeable is how the
career
Use synonyms
 is learned more in the under 26 years-old group,
while
Linking Words
 the reverse situation
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 place in
over
Correct article usage
the over
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 49
age
Use synonyms
 group.
Additionally
Linking Words
, as the
age
Use synonyms
 level
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
, the ratio of aim
study
Use synonyms
 for interest slowly but surely changes with it. With regards to 3 fields that show students choose to
study
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
 more than 50%. In terms of under
26's
Change noun form
26
show examples
 and between 26 and 29
years-old
Correct your spelling
years old
show examples
, they accounted for exactly 80% and 70%, respectively,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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occupational
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interest had less than nearly
one eighth
Add a hyphen
one-eighth
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 of
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 two
age
Use synonyms
 phases. Meanwhile, in
30's
Correct article usage
the 30's
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, about 58% of
career
Use synonyms
 purposes are tended to
study
Use synonyms
 by students, doubling interest. Turning to the other
age
Use synonyms
 group phases where
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 displayed a shift in studying purposes. As for
40's
Correct article usage
the 40's
show examples
, 2
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
reason
Change the determiner
reasons
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 witness the same portion ( at 40% ).
In the
Change preposition
The
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 49 years - old and onwards, the students
study
Use synonyms
 for pleasure is 70%,
overwhelm
Wrong verb form
overwhelming
show examples
 the aim of
career
Use synonyms
 at under 20% a little bit.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words study, age, career with synonyms.
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