In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction, causing high levels of water and air pollution. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

In a chunk of flourishing nations, there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
issue
with mitigating
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of
air
and
water
from duo industrial
manufacure
Correct your spelling
manufacture
and erection, enforcing severe levels of contamination.
However
,
this
writer believes that strict
goevernment
Correct your spelling
government
regulations and reforming the
indiviual's
Correct your spelling
individual's
self-esteem are the way to address
this
trend. One of the core
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to solve the
polluntants
Correct your spelling
pollutants
pollutant
is imposing tough rules.
In other words
, residents are forced to follow the rules or
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
punished by high taxes and imprisonment if the problem becomes more
tension
Replace the word
tense
show examples
,
therefore
a tendency of polluting
air
and
water
will be alleviated and the eco-friendly
environment
is imminent again.
As a result
, misbehaviours of
destructing
Add an article
the destructing
show examples
environment
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
carefully inspected and simultaneously, tremendous regulations are
regislated
Correct your spelling
legislated
regulated
to sustain the harmless
environment
from wastes of industry and building process.
For instance
, the UK
sets
Wrong verb form
set
show examples
out new laws that
prohibiting
Wrong verb form
prohibit
show examples
builders from abusing working
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
to harm the
environment
, and if
this
detrimental action still occurs, the
gorvenment
Correct your spelling
government
will carry out execution in order to stop
this
problem. Another measure
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
be implemented is how local authorities positively adjust the people's awareness of
this
issue
. If the government can show the terrible incomes of
air
and
water
pollution,
residents'
Change noun form
residents
show examples
mindset slowly recognize the indispensable factors that can
eliminating
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eliminate
be eliminating
show examples
this
issue
out of
Change preposition
from
show examples
the nation and
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
the amount of long-term influences
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the green
environment
.
Consequently
, the people
conprehend
Correct your spelling
comprehend
this
harsh circumstance that can easily affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
not only the health but
also
the
sorroundings
Correct your spelling
surroundings
, so that they can consider
contaiminting
Correct your spelling
contaminating
air
and
water
as a destructive attitude. Taking Vietnam as a prime example, the bias of
air
and
water
pollution invariably
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
,
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
show examples
the
gorvenment
Correct your spelling
government
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
given myriad hindrances that can greatly harm
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
residents, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adequate perception formed and stopped the
issue
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the problem, its causes, and a brief overview of the solutions. This will help improve the logical structure and introduction quality.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, leaving the reader with a strong understanding of the proposed solutions.
task achievement
Improve the use of vocabulary and grammar to ensure clarity and avoid misunderstandings. Pay attention to inaccuracies like 'this writer' and orthographical errors such as 'gorvenment'.
task achievement
Further support the main points with more specific and varied examples to demonstrate the broader application of the solutions suggested. This will boost the relevance and specificity of your examples.
task achievement
You have identified two primary solutions to address the issue of air and water pollution, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is focused on a single solution, which helps in developing a clear structure in your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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